1/1/2004 c1 7Aisatsana
hey! thanx for ur review! This is a good story so far! I like your use of description.. it really gets the reader interested in the story.. I also like how it starts with "If there ever was any such thing.." That's really creative!
Looking forward 2 reading the rest!
~Aisatsana
Please review my other stories if u can! I could really use some feedback!Thanx!
hey! thanx for ur review! This is a good story so far! I like your use of description.. it really gets the reader interested in the story.. I also like how it starts with "If there ever was any such thing.." That's really creative!
Looking forward 2 reading the rest!
~Aisatsana
Please review my other stories if u can! I could really use some feedback!Thanx!
12/28/2003 c1 9Scythe de Zaran
Ah. Violent bugger, eh? Well, it sounds interesting. I'd like to read more.
Ah. Violent bugger, eh? Well, it sounds interesting. I'd like to read more.
12/5/2003 c1 37Animagess
Really, really weird. Kind of reminds me of Neil Gaiman's "American Gods", only stranger. I kind of like it though. Nothing much coherent so far, and some awkward phrasing, but very interesting. The beginning made it sound like it was going to be some kind of bizarro comedy, but it was more unsettling than that. Hope you go through with this.
Nitpick:
"You are going to die and I am going to kill you, understand?"
It makes more sense the other way around.
"I am going to kill you and you are going to die, understand?"
Really, really weird. Kind of reminds me of Neil Gaiman's "American Gods", only stranger. I kind of like it though. Nothing much coherent so far, and some awkward phrasing, but very interesting. The beginning made it sound like it was going to be some kind of bizarro comedy, but it was more unsettling than that. Hope you go through with this.
Nitpick:
"You are going to die and I am going to kill you, understand?"
It makes more sense the other way around.
"I am going to kill you and you are going to die, understand?"
11/30/2003 c1 5aqua-angel
O.o Violent man that Dice. Great job on the chappie! Okay constructive criticism first. One, typo in the beginning. Instead of "through many hands" you put "threw many hands". I think thats all of the typos... sorry if i sound nit-picky XD Second, your format. Either double space your spaces between paragraphs to make them show up, or save as a web page and then upload that web page. And thats about it. I really like your intro, it was nicely written. A very original way to start off and it definitely grabbed my attention. The scene kinda reminded me of the Matrix lol, i love that movie! You have great dialogue and great analogies. My friend would love you for that, shes a very analogy sort of person :) Overall, I really like this story. Lotsa potential, so update soon!
Oh yah, if you have the time please R/R my 1:3 Rectangular Prism (also a fantasy) or nething of your fancy *grins* love to hear your opinion on it, thanks!
Remember UPDATE SOON!
O.o Violent man that Dice. Great job on the chappie! Okay constructive criticism first. One, typo in the beginning. Instead of "through many hands" you put "threw many hands". I think thats all of the typos... sorry if i sound nit-picky XD Second, your format. Either double space your spaces between paragraphs to make them show up, or save as a web page and then upload that web page. And thats about it. I really like your intro, it was nicely written. A very original way to start off and it definitely grabbed my attention. The scene kinda reminded me of the Matrix lol, i love that movie! You have great dialogue and great analogies. My friend would love you for that, shes a very analogy sort of person :) Overall, I really like this story. Lotsa potential, so update soon!
Oh yah, if you have the time please R/R my 1:3 Rectangular Prism (also a fantasy) or nething of your fancy *grins* love to hear your opinion on it, thanks!
Remember UPDATE SOON!