for Healing8/21/2006 c17 mel
uhm... dnt u think this is way too much drama for one story? i know that you are only 13 but im telling u a tip someone told me once. write the chapter, then let it sit for like a day, then go back and read it to see if you can change anything. other than all the drama it is pretty good and keeps attention
uhm... dnt u think this is way too much drama for one story? i know that you are only 13 but im telling u a tip someone told me once. write the chapter, then let it sit for like a day, then go back and read it to see if you can change anything. other than all the drama it is pretty good and keeps attention
9/5/2005 c3 REGRETABLE
Okay, first of all, you're going too fast. The abuse, the finding out, the love thing. I mean, if she was being abused, she'd want to hide it. If she's being abused, she'd be afraid of a relationship with another person. And it was kinda lame how Tom just said, "I love her" after denying it. They didn't even push her that hard to talk. I'm gonna read the rest of the story, but you should think about changing a few things...
Okay, first of all, you're going too fast. The abuse, the finding out, the love thing. I mean, if she was being abused, she'd want to hide it. If she's being abused, she'd be afraid of a relationship with another person. And it was kinda lame how Tom just said, "I love her" after denying it. They didn't even push her that hard to talk. I'm gonna read the rest of the story, but you should think about changing a few things...
4/8/2005 c21 C. Regeling
all of your characters have problems..LoL..but i guess tht makes it one hell of a good drama..LoL...
I hope u take this baby off hold soon, i enjoyed reading it
Jorja : )
all of your characters have problems..LoL..but i guess tht makes it one hell of a good drama..LoL...
I hope u take this baby off hold soon, i enjoyed reading it
Jorja : )
4/1/2005 c21 topsecret32
too lazy to sign on. i realize that this is on hold. y are all ur stories the same? i like the new one the best. ur poems too
too lazy to sign on. i realize that this is on hold. y are all ur stories the same? i like the new one the best. ur poems too
2/19/2005 c21 
1MyVeryOwnDreamland
all of these kids need therepy... no offence but your story is way too dramatic.. its really good dont get em wrong but iwould jsut chill for a while
1MyVeryOwnDreamlandall of these kids need therepy... no offence but your story is way too dramatic.. its really good dont get em wrong but iwould jsut chill for a while
1/22/2005 c21 1KarahBella
This is a great story and I'm sure once you get writing it again it'll be great...and I'll be sure to check out your new story...which might be just as great.
1KarahBellaThis is a great story and I'm sure once you get writing it again it'll be great...and I'll be sure to check out your new story...which might be just as great.
12/15/2004 c21 9double-life
This story is really good. It goes a little too fast though and things happen out of nowhere. They just pop up. There has to be a sort of flow to things. One or two things poping up is fine but just try to make the story flow together. Other than that, two thumbs up! Keep writing
9double-lifeThis story is really good. It goes a little too fast though and things happen out of nowhere. They just pop up. There has to be a sort of flow to things. One or two things poping up is fine but just try to make the story flow together. Other than that, two thumbs up! Keep writing
11/23/2004 c20 Katie
First off, this is not a flame. Your story-plot is very interesting, I like it a lot. However, I think that you jump from scene to scene a bit too fast... in the beginning of the story it took Kris what? one week to get over the trauma of Alex hitting her? That's not realistic, trust me I have friends who have been in abusive relationships. She also wouldn't have admit it so easily, it's not something that she could have come to terms with so fast... that's just not possible. And then you have one week between the time when Tom claims that he just cares about her as a friend and then he says that he "loves" her? That's a bit quick, don't you think? Mike's death, too, seemed a bit rushed. I think that you could have put a bit more effort into it, tried to show teh reader what emotions all the band members felt, and especially how Kris felt. I mean, she'd been dating him for about a year! I think your story has a lot of potential and these are just a couple of things I've noticed about it! Keep it up...
First off, this is not a flame. Your story-plot is very interesting, I like it a lot. However, I think that you jump from scene to scene a bit too fast... in the beginning of the story it took Kris what? one week to get over the trauma of Alex hitting her? That's not realistic, trust me I have friends who have been in abusive relationships. She also wouldn't have admit it so easily, it's not something that she could have come to terms with so fast... that's just not possible. And then you have one week between the time when Tom claims that he just cares about her as a friend and then he says that he "loves" her? That's a bit quick, don't you think? Mike's death, too, seemed a bit rushed. I think that you could have put a bit more effort into it, tried to show teh reader what emotions all the band members felt, and especially how Kris felt. I mean, she'd been dating him for about a year! I think your story has a lot of potential and these are just a couple of things I've noticed about it! Keep it up...
5/26/2004 c20 kim
sorry to hear about your grandmum. question: why don't you like it? it is really good. keep writing
sorry to hear about your grandmum. question: why don't you like it? it is really good. keep writing