for Birth Right3/24/2008 c17 insanity-ward
i forgot to mention this in my review for chapter 17... i luv how you used magic in the story, and Andrew's eyes have something to do with the prologue, don't they? anywayz, totally luv Ali and hope she falls in ove with Andrew in the end!
i forgot to mention this in my review for chapter 17... i luv how you used magic in the story, and Andrew's eyes have something to do with the prologue, don't they? anywayz, totally luv Ali and hope she falls in ove with Andrew in the end!
11/12/2006 c18 William
I like you story and your have a great plotline, However I have a slight problem with your character Alaina, To be blunt, she is a complete and utter coward. She constantly talks the talk, but rarely walks the walk. Andrew tells her to be somewhere or do something and a lot of the time she does it protesting all the while, which doesn’t make since. Is that the way she is suppose to be?
It’s like, If I say that I abhor slavery and I think it is a malevolent practice, Yet, I’m a slave owner and I run the biggest slave trade you’ve ever seen…I’ll leave it at that...
And please, for once, do not make them fall in love, please!
The girl
( Either she is the gentle lamb who does no wrong, or her counter part who talks tough and usually acts otherwise )
Falls for the guy
( Who is always a complete #, sometimes joint with being physically abusive )
And somehow they live happily ever after.
( Which doesn’t happen in the real world ) Is so overdone, it’s not even funny.
I like you story and your have a great plotline, However I have a slight problem with your character Alaina, To be blunt, she is a complete and utter coward. She constantly talks the talk, but rarely walks the walk. Andrew tells her to be somewhere or do something and a lot of the time she does it protesting all the while, which doesn’t make since. Is that the way she is suppose to be?
It’s like, If I say that I abhor slavery and I think it is a malevolent practice, Yet, I’m a slave owner and I run the biggest slave trade you’ve ever seen…I’ll leave it at that...
And please, for once, do not make them fall in love, please!
The girl
( Either she is the gentle lamb who does no wrong, or her counter part who talks tough and usually acts otherwise )
Falls for the guy
( Who is always a complete #, sometimes joint with being physically abusive )
And somehow they live happily ever after.
( Which doesn’t happen in the real world ) Is so overdone, it’s not even funny.
7/26/2006 c18 soul2quz
hey i just read the entire story and i loved it.. i anxiously look fwd to the next parts. post asap please. great job the story is very captivating.
hey i just read the entire story and i loved it.. i anxiously look fwd to the next parts. post asap please. great job the story is very captivating.
5/3/2006 c3 Lady Chianti
Hey, this is a really good story! I love how it's developing, and I can't wait to read more!
Hey, this is a really good story! I love how it's developing, and I can't wait to read more!
3/26/2006 c18 chibbs
this seems like an intersting story. yeah, i admit it I havent read much of it except for parts of this chapter, but it seems cool enough to make me want to go back and read the rest. keep it up!
this seems like an intersting story. yeah, i admit it I havent read much of it except for parts of this chapter, but it seems cool enough to make me want to go back and read the rest. keep it up!
12/10/2005 c17 anon
WOW. This is a pretty good story, best I've read in a while. PLEASE UPDATE SOON! ^_^
WOW. This is a pretty good story, best I've read in a while. PLEASE UPDATE SOON! ^_^
9/8/2005 c16 Cobalt chloride shoes
Well, first thing that struck me...wow she's a heavy sleeper! She must have woken up half a dozen times before realising that lout was in bed with her.I like the magic element of the story, it's quite unique. If she gets back home i'd be interested to see if that idea could be developed a bit more. Her conversations with her fiancee seem a bit repetitive. Obviously he won't listen to her and she's trapped in an awful situation, but it would be good if some headway could be made. I've enjoyed reading the story, i'll look forward to the next installment.
Well, first thing that struck me...wow she's a heavy sleeper! She must have woken up half a dozen times before realising that lout was in bed with her.I like the magic element of the story, it's quite unique. If she gets back home i'd be interested to see if that idea could be developed a bit more. Her conversations with her fiancee seem a bit repetitive. Obviously he won't listen to her and she's trapped in an awful situation, but it would be good if some headway could be made. I've enjoyed reading the story, i'll look forward to the next installment.
7/28/2005 c5 
5Melissa Wahl
ooh, good twist there at the end about the ring. I love your destriptions of everything, they're quite lovely.
5Melissa Wahlooh, good twist there at the end about the ring. I love your destriptions of everything, they're quite lovely.
7/28/2005 c4 Melissa Wahl
I really like how this chapter develops the hatred Ali has for Andrew, yet everyone else thinks its love. I love it!
I really like how this chapter develops the hatred Ali has for Andrew, yet everyone else thinks its love. I love it!
7/17/2005 c2 Melissa Wahl
I really like your story so far. The only thing is that, for the most part, you write really eloquently but there are little things like when the princess says crap that just don't really seem to fit. But I'm just picky :) I will continue on reading, this is a really great so far!
I really like your story so far. The only thing is that, for the most part, you write really eloquently but there are little things like when the princess says crap that just don't really seem to fit. But I'm just picky :) I will continue on reading, this is a really great so far!
7/15/2005 c16 51bangbangstartagain
hey. great story so far. i've read it all tonight. good twist with andrew turning up on 'earth'. im a little confused eith him though. is his true naturethe one alaina is seeing - the asshole one - or is his real nature the normal one? "glimpse of humanity" like that part of line? Oh well, i shall find out in later chapters. i cant wait for more so please update soon!laterAT
51bangbangstartagainhey. great story so far. i've read it all tonight. good twist with andrew turning up on 'earth'. im a little confused eith him though. is his true naturethe one alaina is seeing - the asshole one - or is his real nature the normal one? "glimpse of humanity" like that part of line? Oh well, i shall find out in later chapters. i cant wait for more so please update soon!laterAT