for Facing the Storm2/2/2004 c1 
1Lauren K
Good writing, but confusing..what, exactly was the choice? The line between good and bad, right and wrong, is often blurred. It's not, as you present it, so easy to choose and understand. Also, what storm was the boy facing, exactly? I understand that maybe it doesn't really matter, but this may have been better as an actual STORY...with the boy having a character, and the man, and maybe the fact that the mother was gone worked in. seriously, this could become a good story (I think) if it was expanded into one. If you choose to expand it and want some help, or when you finish it, PLEASE email me at or .
~Kiara
1Lauren KGood writing, but confusing..what, exactly was the choice? The line between good and bad, right and wrong, is often blurred. It's not, as you present it, so easy to choose and understand. Also, what storm was the boy facing, exactly? I understand that maybe it doesn't really matter, but this may have been better as an actual STORY...with the boy having a character, and the man, and maybe the fact that the mother was gone worked in. seriously, this could become a good story (I think) if it was expanded into one. If you choose to expand it and want some help, or when you finish it, PLEASE email me at or .
~Kiara
12/10/2003 c1 32Morbane
Neatly stated. In this case the choice was offered more kindly than in many cases, wouldn't you say? I liked the way you suggested the man's character, with its kinda benevolent authority. One mistake I picked up; "The never touched him." - do you mean 'The rain never touched him'...?
32MorbaneNeatly stated. In this case the choice was offered more kindly than in many cases, wouldn't you say? I liked the way you suggested the man's character, with its kinda benevolent authority. One mistake I picked up; "The never touched him." - do you mean 'The rain never touched him'...?
12/4/2003 c1 121Seeker of the Way
This is like a dream, surreal. The last thing I read tht was short surreal and fun like this was a story included with an old Genesis CD
(goes to see which one) OK, it was "Genesis Live" 1973
I love dream-like imagry and use it a lot. You may like "Shortened Life of George Hendrix". But, mine is not as short as this one, a lot of imagry in a short space - good job!
Thanks again for the review, adn for adding another piece so I can review it to return the favor.
Keep writing!
121Seeker of the WayThis is like a dream, surreal. The last thing I read tht was short surreal and fun like this was a story included with an old Genesis CD
(goes to see which one) OK, it was "Genesis Live" 1973
I love dream-like imagry and use it a lot. You may like "Shortened Life of George Hendrix". But, mine is not as short as this one, a lot of imagry in a short space - good job!
Thanks again for the review, adn for adding another piece so I can review it to return the favor.
Keep writing!