Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for To Become a Suitable Heroine

6/2/2021 c1 21Uncle Rupert
Ok so I know it's not what you meant but in my mind iam picturing her winning a pile of gold next a tonne of actual wardrobes...
2/29/2020 c1 1Stormwitch625
I love this story. But it is a bit spooky to think it was written before I was born...
2/9/2020 c25 Guest
This story is my comfort food.
I think I've read it like 3 or 4 times by now? And now that I'm an adult, it's nice to be able to read something that's pretty much an exact time capsule of how I thought when I was younger. Like the neko girl thing? Bruh iconic. P.s. I wish I could write a kiss scene as good as you holy moly
7/18/2019 c2 Guest
im i love with this story love it
12/1/2018 c3 Diving in
How did she not recognise Ash?
10/11/2018 c25 Michael Spriggs
This was a good story and I'm glad I got a chance to read it.
6/28/2018 c9 Guest
aww i love vex
12/24/2017 c25 Akiyume
(Continued)
read on fictionpress and even though the writing was very much amateurish - I’m not going to offer any criticism because it’s been so long and I’m sure you don’t write anything like this anymore - the soul of the story really moved me. It was such a joyous and comedic but also touching story that I come back to read when I need to lift my spirits when I was young, and sometimes still do.

So if you ever see this, I’d just like to say thanks for posting this fic and I wish you the best, where ever you may be now.
12/24/2017 c25 Akiyume
It’s been many years since I’ve read this story - and probably many more since you first wrote it - and even though very few might ever read this review, I thought I’d leave one behind out of sentimentality.
This story was probably the first i
11/4/2017 c25 Username129
Ignore the ignorant fellow Anon named 'dude', that commenter obviously doesn't know what a fantasy is. Now, this is some of my advice for writing a story like this,

The romance seemed a bit rushed and unconnected, I found the prince annoying and without real personality but his dialogue and history was good. I wish you would've played more on the character that had identified Ray's animal, since she seemed interesting. Lastly, I think you should read the book "Which Witch" written by Eva Ibbotson as even though her story was meant for children she had alot of endearing characters and lovable scenes. "Which Witch" is also about a contest for females but her main female protagonist was almost like yours,

If you read-Thank you!, I really enjoyed your story!
10/14/2017 c1 dude
Purple hair isn't natural neither are amber eyes. Were you on drugs when you wrote this and forgot what people looked like.
9/15/2017 c2 3hanuman1702
First of all, OH MY GOD! I'm already swooning over Prince Ashenar! I love the story so far. There's only one thing that I thought I must point out: punctuation in dialogue. For instance, you wrote: "Oh, up to the rooms allocated to each heroine." The old man said, casually.
The full stop after "heroine" should be replaced with a comma.
9/15/2017 c1 hanuman1702
Hey! I don't think this is slow at all-it's moving at a pretty good pace :)
I love the tone you used in the writing. Ray comes off as a very sarcastic and hilarious character (my favourite type!). Can't wait to read what happens next!
6/24/2017 c25 1Bella Galathynius Archeron
You should remove this story from Fictionpress. Wait a sec, that sounded like I hate this story. Not at all! I love it! It has a super original plot and a great love story. The reason I wanted you to remove it from this site is so you can publish it as a novel. I'm not even kidding. You could really be an author if you published this. It's so good. It does have one little plot hole, though. When Ray figures out that Ash is the prince, it doesn't really make sense. He looks like himself, with the purple eyes and silver hair. However, you said that almost all of the Heroines recognized him and threw themselves at him (being how Ray realizes Ash is the prince). But, the prince has had dark hair and the green? blue? eyes for the whole time they knew him as the prince. How do they know that the guy with silver hair and purple eyes is the same person as the prince. Not sure if that made any sense. Basically, the Heroines recognized him as the prince when he looked different than the prince they knew. Love your story!
4/22/2017 c25 MyDeepDarkSorrow
Well that was frigging amazing
1,477 Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service