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3/25/2004 c1 13ladymaverick
Stunning! Well, I'm not much of a reader of poetry...but God, this one's a beauty. You're writing passionately, and uniquely, abotu a subject that can often turn out SO cliche eg. "Oh woe is me. I must cut my wrist. Because you don't love me. Oh why can't you see..." and so on and so forth.
I like the first two lines the most...but I find these lines most powerful:
"I am a total infidel
Unfaithful even to the life I was given for free."
Good job...adding you to my fave authors =)
2/20/2004 c3 Grendel
This triology is great! I loved it, the construction, the meaning, great work!
2/14/2004 c3 Love and Destroy
It's very good! I like it! There's so much emotion and poetry in these "courses"! I like the idea of an Angst Feast! Sunrise
1/13/2004 c1 Amethyst Blood
Nice. "hex me" Heh. I understand what you are saying, which soemtimes poems don't really do.
12/31/2003 c3 69the cereal killer
I liked the first one..
"My heart would bleed for you/But it is much too busy pumping blood for me."
"For when I'm bleeding I'm bleeding for me."
I like the concept, sounds selfish, self-centred, but also shows a sense of control.
I think it was good you tried rhyme, something I could never find myself doing, however hard I try. (Unless I'm composing mindless limerick-like songs about people I don't like.)
Keep writing! (:
12/20/2003 c3 41Razor Sharp Kisses
A great ending to this piece as a whole. I think this is the most angst-ridden of the three. Great nonetheless.
12/20/2003 c2 Razor Sharp Kisses
Honestly, I don't see anything wrong with it. I like the rhyme scheme. I can relate to this a lot...it's actually kind of creepy how I felt while reading this. I like this more than the first one, even though the first was great, too.
Hey, it was written at the beginning of the year. If you don't think it's that good personally, then think of how you can grow to be better...(but I think everything by you is great anyhow and if you get better, my head will spin right off my shoulders!)
12/20/2003 c1 Razor Sharp Kisses
I love the first four lines of this. You're a great writer.
12/19/2003 c3 2Hypersensitive
This is even better. Somehow the uneven rhyming set this odd tempo, with a really catchy feel to it. Yeap, it is a little like a song. So mmhmm, I loved it. Just like all your other stuff. Well done I must say it is decent, no matter what you say..
12/19/2003 c2 Hypersensitive
YEAH, its good, its good, its good. I mean, I can relate to it SO much. Awesome. Ok, I can't critcize it, really. I mean, hell yeah, its good. Seen better stuff but I have a soft spot for rhyming poetry so there. I liked it.
12/16/2003 c2 612simpleplan13
i cant really criticize it it is awesome... im sorry
12/15/2003 c3 simpleplan13
me likes... it sounds songy... i like hte format... its an interesting thought too... yea he does his pen name is WHo da ya think
12/14/2003 c2 killthisaccountitsdead
hi again. : )
well well, never thought you'd actually post rhyming poetry, but i guess we've all got our dark times.
I don't like this much because it shows that you really laboured for these to rhyme, some rhymes are quite banal, and you often repeat the same word, so it sounds very rushed and sort of childish (you know how when children sing they take breaths in the middle of a phrase? that's how the poem sounds).
damn it, i sound like i'm flaming. you know i wouldn't. i think if you want to improve this poem you just have to write it anew, though i wouldn't have bothered to do that other than as a writing exercise. (the kind i enjoy. sometimes i just translate my poems into all the languages i know. you can get really interesting pieces that way).
12/9/2003 c1 35Krikoris
I like the movement of it, and you know that I am a sucker for. . . .rhyming or however you spell it. I do it all the time, but the words you used werent the typical words and thats why I loved it. True, there was no cutting mentioned, but there was blood involved. Not like I mind.
I want to thank you for reviewing my work once more, I dont deserve it in the least. Also, I want to apologize for taking down CA, but, if you wish, I'll send you the latest version. You know where to contact me -wink-
Krikoris
12/9/2003 c1 251LegendaryPunk29
I dunno, I just dunt like da rhymin poems. It sounds too cocky, ya kno wat I mean? It really doesnt sound right to me..(sry, that just for me...) But nice poem tho. I liked it, I liked it. Nice job here, keep writing!
If u can, plz r and r some of my work too, it will mean a lot to me.
Thanks!
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