for The Caves6/16/2022 c1 Scott Curtiss Tu
I liked it. I would suggest using various descriptives (i.e for the word 'darkness.' You used the word six times if you include the one time you used 'dark.')
How about:
'Toward(s) the back of the cave, a narrow passage leads off into the gloom. I enter it. making myself as small possible, so as to avoid contact with the walls. My shoulder brushes something unseen in the night-cave...
The next paragraph you start with 'Darkness'. That fine.
Later:
'...disappearing into the void.' ...could exist in such a black-shadowed place.'
'I turn away and walk back into the stygian, crypt-like cavern.
I liked it. I would suggest using various descriptives (i.e for the word 'darkness.' You used the word six times if you include the one time you used 'dark.')
How about:
'Toward(s) the back of the cave, a narrow passage leads off into the gloom. I enter it. making myself as small possible, so as to avoid contact with the walls. My shoulder brushes something unseen in the night-cave...
The next paragraph you start with 'Darkness'. That fine.
Later:
'...disappearing into the void.' ...could exist in such a black-shadowed place.'
'I turn away and walk back into the stygian, crypt-like cavern.
9/16/2020 c1 Marig
This is great.
This is great.
4/5/2020 c1 Arsalah
Good nice job keep it up
Good nice job keep it up
8/17/2019 c1 Neil
Amazing
Amazing
8/18/2018 c1 Guest
im copying it
im copying it
7/31/2018 c1 coolvgan
Brilliant..but avoid the use of too many 'I's' . Otherwise, good work!
Brilliant..but avoid the use of too many 'I's' . Otherwise, good work!
4/23/2018 c1 Guest
Anoi ma boi
Anoi ma boi
5/13/2017 c1 Guest
That was very good
That was very good
1/16/2017 c1 pussycatmarvel
it was good
it was good
1/7/2017 c1 motherfucker
you suck
you suck
11/12/2016 c1 lisa
wow!
wow!
10/18/2016 c1 Guest
This was well written congratsss !
This was well written congratsss !
2/16/2016 c1 Guest
this is really god
this is really god
4/22/2014 c1 Guest
it is wow
it is wow
11/7/2013 c1 Ann Taylor Smith
This was good but it had to have sensory details more .. But overall it was a nice descriptive essay.
This was good but it had to have sensory details more .. But overall it was a nice descriptive essay.