for Nuroch Thawned1/29/2006 c12 
1Lady-Hitokiri
Well, as you can see, I just read the last few chapters straight through. I have to say, you seemed to get a bit more descriptive towards the end.
The title of this last chapter says it all: Indefinite conclusion. I feel left out of the dust with this ending, which is probably what you meant to do, to have the reader question what happens after that.
I liked this story, even though some parts were a bit sketchy in my understanding of what was going on, but other than that it was enjoyable. And like I've said before, I look forward to reading any future works that you come out with. So keep up the good work and I hope school is going well for you.
1Lady-HitokiriWell, as you can see, I just read the last few chapters straight through. I have to say, you seemed to get a bit more descriptive towards the end.
The title of this last chapter says it all: Indefinite conclusion. I feel left out of the dust with this ending, which is probably what you meant to do, to have the reader question what happens after that.
I liked this story, even though some parts were a bit sketchy in my understanding of what was going on, but other than that it was enjoyable. And like I've said before, I look forward to reading any future works that you come out with. So keep up the good work and I hope school is going well for you.
1/29/2006 c8 Lady-Hitokiri
Gosh, those monsters just keep going after them one by one. Already in this chapter they got Faarlic and now they got Jacob! He better be safe...
Must read on...
Sorry for the lack of depth in these reviews, if they seem a bit shallow. ^^;
Gosh, those monsters just keep going after them one by one. Already in this chapter they got Faarlic and now they got Jacob! He better be safe...
Must read on...
Sorry for the lack of depth in these reviews, if they seem a bit shallow. ^^;
1/29/2006 c7 Lady-Hitokiri
The Rilnaean worms is an interesting concept. Which they must be pretty far along in thier hosts, since Liu and Seltzer seemed to have already started to cause some serious damage. I hope they can be taken care of and that the others will be safe.
I liked the intensity in this chapter. It's really making me anxious to read more. You have a knack for building suspense and keeping the reader interesting, which is good.
The Rilnaean worms is an interesting concept. Which they must be pretty far along in thier hosts, since Liu and Seltzer seemed to have already started to cause some serious damage. I hope they can be taken care of and that the others will be safe.
I liked the intensity in this chapter. It's really making me anxious to read more. You have a knack for building suspense and keeping the reader interesting, which is good.
1/29/2006 c6 Lady-Hitokiri
Wait...so that means the missing people are also mutating? Wow, that's pretty cool and freaky. Although hopefully they won't be too transformed.
Wait...so that means the missing people are also mutating? Wow, that's pretty cool and freaky. Although hopefully they won't be too transformed.
1/29/2006 c5 Lady-Hitokiri
I liked this line: ”We’re getting off the planet, right now,” David agreed. Heh, those were my thoughts exactly. I'd probably just run away in fear of keeping my own life. XP
This was another pretty good chapter- I can't really think of any criticism or advice towards it. I'll just continue reading on. :)
I liked this line: ”We’re getting off the planet, right now,” David agreed. Heh, those were my thoughts exactly. I'd probably just run away in fear of keeping my own life. XP
This was another pretty good chapter- I can't really think of any criticism or advice towards it. I'll just continue reading on. :)
1/28/2006 c4 Lady-Hitokiri
Hey there. I know I said I'd finish this story last week, but it sort of slipped out of my priorities.
It was funny when you mentioned "Sitting on one big swiss cheese." It's a different take on a familiar analogy. For some reason it's a bit hard for me to keep track of who is who in this story, basically just trying to distinguish certain individuals since there seems to be a lot of characters/names. But it's not that bad.
I like how you built the suspense in this chapter, with the tent collapse and the bloody tracks and the missing team-mates. There's a lot of anxious waiting for when the main people will actually have to confront these 'monsters'. And I can't wait until they do!
Oh, and by the way, as for Ebbarria, thanks for reviewing. I see what you mean about the dad/Antaris thing. If anything, I'd have picked dad still. Also, about the reverse spell, I like to think of it as sort of leaving it up to the reader to decide if they would have been able to do anything with it. But basically, they would've had to said Untenden backwards (Nednetnu) in order for things to reverse. But...well...I had plans for other things, and so they never really were able to do the reverse spell. XPBut in my new story there won't be any magic. It's quite different from Ebbarria but I'm still hoping that it's a good read. I'm working on the first few chapters right now, which might take a while due to my hectic schedule.
Anyway, I WILL finish this story tomorrow, and you can count on it 100 percent. :P
Hey there. I know I said I'd finish this story last week, but it sort of slipped out of my priorities.
It was funny when you mentioned "Sitting on one big swiss cheese." It's a different take on a familiar analogy. For some reason it's a bit hard for me to keep track of who is who in this story, basically just trying to distinguish certain individuals since there seems to be a lot of characters/names. But it's not that bad.
I like how you built the suspense in this chapter, with the tent collapse and the bloody tracks and the missing team-mates. There's a lot of anxious waiting for when the main people will actually have to confront these 'monsters'. And I can't wait until they do!
Oh, and by the way, as for Ebbarria, thanks for reviewing. I see what you mean about the dad/Antaris thing. If anything, I'd have picked dad still. Also, about the reverse spell, I like to think of it as sort of leaving it up to the reader to decide if they would have been able to do anything with it. But basically, they would've had to said Untenden backwards (Nednetnu) in order for things to reverse. But...well...I had plans for other things, and so they never really were able to do the reverse spell. XPBut in my new story there won't be any magic. It's quite different from Ebbarria but I'm still hoping that it's a good read. I'm working on the first few chapters right now, which might take a while due to my hectic schedule.
Anyway, I WILL finish this story tomorrow, and you can count on it 100 percent. :P
1/23/2006 c3 Lady-Hitokiri
Geeze, I sure hope Jarvis is okay. Those humanoid things must be very primitive but I'm interested in learning more about them.
I like this story, although maybe not as much as your other ones, and definitely not holding a candle to how much I've liked Redemption. How's the sequel coming along, by the way?
I'll review for the later chapters tonight, since I need to get a bit of homework done and eat.
Geeze, I sure hope Jarvis is okay. Those humanoid things must be very primitive but I'm interested in learning more about them.
I like this story, although maybe not as much as your other ones, and definitely not holding a candle to how much I've liked Redemption. How's the sequel coming along, by the way?
I'll review for the later chapters tonight, since I need to get a bit of homework done and eat.
1/23/2006 c2 Lady-Hitokiri
I was wondering about the whole age thing- do all the different races have different "year equivalents" to the normal human race, or do all the non-human races measure their years the same? Not sure if it makes sense, but it's hard to write the question out correctly.
I thought it was very interesting how they had to drink that fatty juice. It's a nice addition so that the reader knows just how cold it is on that planet.
It's chilling to know that they're going after monsters. Woo..that sounds exciting but still creepy since they don't know what mutated beings they might discover...I think the end of this chapter went well to draw me in to the next chapter.
I was wondering about the whole age thing- do all the different races have different "year equivalents" to the normal human race, or do all the non-human races measure their years the same? Not sure if it makes sense, but it's hard to write the question out correctly.
I thought it was very interesting how they had to drink that fatty juice. It's a nice addition so that the reader knows just how cold it is on that planet.
It's chilling to know that they're going after monsters. Woo..that sounds exciting but still creepy since they don't know what mutated beings they might discover...I think the end of this chapter went well to draw me in to the next chapter.
1/19/2006 c1 Lady-Hitokiri
Well, I'm finally getting around to this. I will probably finish this up over the weekend since the chapters aren't too long.
Anyway, I like the way this is somewhat parallel to your other work in the sense of the world and the races. I'm always fascinated by the races and the kolantekor and tzord seem neat.
I liked how you've started off this story, with a nice introduction of the characters and what their jobs/roles are, and also how at the end you mentioned trouble. It makes it exciting and I wonder what trouble they'll be getting into. Nice work and sorry for this sloppy rushed review. ^^;
Well, I'm finally getting around to this. I will probably finish this up over the weekend since the chapters aren't too long.
Anyway, I like the way this is somewhat parallel to your other work in the sense of the world and the races. I'm always fascinated by the races and the kolantekor and tzord seem neat.
I liked how you've started off this story, with a nice introduction of the characters and what their jobs/roles are, and also how at the end you mentioned trouble. It makes it exciting and I wonder what trouble they'll be getting into. Nice work and sorry for this sloppy rushed review. ^^;
9/23/2005 c7 Arkash
Good chapter; with some typos.
These Rilnaean worms are creepy, remind me a bit of the 'Alien'.
But will the safesuits protect them?
Intense chapter, great job! *_*
Good chapter; with some typos.
These Rilnaean worms are creepy, remind me a bit of the 'Alien'.
But will the safesuits protect them?
Intense chapter, great job! *_*
8/2/2005 c3 2Cirex
Interesting! Good chapter, the plot continues to develop. Watch your typos though. There were a couple.
Otherwise, good job. I'll read more later.
2CirexInteresting! Good chapter, the plot continues to develop. Watch your typos though. There were a couple.
Otherwise, good job. I'll read more later.
6/24/2005 c2 Cirex
*Shiver!* I love that ending! Nice build-up thru their discussion of what the symbols meant.I found one or two spelling errors, but beside that this chapter is great.
*Shiver!* I love that ending! Nice build-up thru their discussion of what the symbols meant.I found one or two spelling errors, but beside that this chapter is great.
6/23/2005 c1 Cirex
Wow, you've really created a universe around the iota radiation. I like :) I just read this one after the Ghost Horizon story, and I can see that you've really researched this.
On to the story. I like the opening, it gets me into the story, and then you go back to the beginning, so I only get a taste of what's to come. Speaking of that, your ending to this intro is great.
There's a lot of names to keep track of, with the different types of mutants and the various people on the scene. Hopefully as I read thru the chapters, they will become more recognizable. Anyway, good job, and hopefully I can get another review in tomorra.
Wow, you've really created a universe around the iota radiation. I like :) I just read this one after the Ghost Horizon story, and I can see that you've really researched this.
On to the story. I like the opening, it gets me into the story, and then you go back to the beginning, so I only get a taste of what's to come. Speaking of that, your ending to this intro is great.
There's a lot of names to keep track of, with the different types of mutants and the various people on the scene. Hopefully as I read thru the chapters, they will become more recognizable. Anyway, good job, and hopefully I can get another review in tomorra.
4/16/2005 c2 83Adonia Chesser
Hey, good chapter, excepte that you got some of your letters backwards. in the word "Mixed" you spelt it "Mized" and in the word "Said" you spelt "Sid" there's a few others, but that pretty much it. Good job!
83Adonia ChesserHey, good chapter, excepte that you got some of your letters backwards. in the word "Mixed" you spelt it "Mized" and in the word "Said" you spelt "Sid" there's a few others, but that pretty much it. Good job!
3/27/2005 c1 Adonia Chesser
wow, sounds interesting, i like it, can't wait until i get to the next chapters.
wow, sounds interesting, i like it, can't wait until i get to the next chapters.