for Nuroch Thawned3/24/2005 c6 Arkash
Indeed, this will be interesting.Great chapter. You have some fine dialogues there.I'm glad someone survived down there, but I have a feeling they will be trouble.Again, I like your characters.Good Job!
Indeed, this will be interesting.Great chapter. You have some fine dialogues there.I'm glad someone survived down there, but I have a feeling they will be trouble.Again, I like your characters.Good Job!
3/21/2005 c5 Arkash
Suspenseful chapter. Again, I like the variety of races you included in this story. It makes an interesting reading.
One thing I've found a bit strange: The crew should search for the missing members, MacDelan and Liu, and not leave them behind so quickly. Also, can't they shoot the white hairy armed thing that grabs Harrison? Another one just left to his fate.
The premise is great, but I would make the crew more compassionate.
This story also might benefit if you were to include a short excerpt, or a list of all the races on the expedition.Also, if you capitalized the names it would make an easier reading.
Sorry for all this nitpicking, this story is still one of my favorites, that's why I'm telling you.
Alnitak
Suspenseful chapter. Again, I like the variety of races you included in this story. It makes an interesting reading.
One thing I've found a bit strange: The crew should search for the missing members, MacDelan and Liu, and not leave them behind so quickly. Also, can't they shoot the white hairy armed thing that grabs Harrison? Another one just left to his fate.
The premise is great, but I would make the crew more compassionate.
This story also might benefit if you were to include a short excerpt, or a list of all the races on the expedition.Also, if you capitalized the names it would make an easier reading.
Sorry for all this nitpicking, this story is still one of my favorites, that's why I'm telling you.
Alnitak
3/16/2005 c4 Arkash
Exciting chapter, again.Just one question: When does the story take place? And how come they still have problems flying an aircraft in bad weather?
Exciting chapter, again.Just one question: When does the story take place? And how come they still have problems flying an aircraft in bad weather?
3/13/2005 c3 Arkash
So the monsters are coming. I'm curious to find out whether they're mutated humans, or aliens.Good chapter, good tech descriptions.But why would Sulni risk herself when there are men to do the job?She's brave, if that's what you wanted to show.There are only some minor typos.
So the monsters are coming. I'm curious to find out whether they're mutated humans, or aliens.Good chapter, good tech descriptions.But why would Sulni risk herself when there are men to do the job?She's brave, if that's what you wanted to show.There are only some minor typos.
3/11/2005 c2 Arkash
An interesting chapter, and it seems to cover every aspect of an expedition. I also get the impression of a close-knit society.In my opinion, there are too many foreshadowing that gives away the plot too soon. (like mentioning of monsters)But that could be just me.The other thing is, there are some incorrect sentences and punctuation errors that could be edited.It's an interesting millieu, though, and it looks like you've put in a lot of work.
P.S. I don't have an IM yet, but will soon. My E-mail is my profile.
An interesting chapter, and it seems to cover every aspect of an expedition. I also get the impression of a close-knit society.In my opinion, there are too many foreshadowing that gives away the plot too soon. (like mentioning of monsters)But that could be just me.The other thing is, there are some incorrect sentences and punctuation errors that could be edited.It's an interesting millieu, though, and it looks like you've put in a lot of work.
P.S. I don't have an IM yet, but will soon. My E-mail is my profile.
3/11/2005 c1 Arkash
Great intro for an interesting story.I like your character interplays, it flows very natural. I also like that you use mutated races of the human species. That always makes a Sci-Fi story more interesting. I'll read more later.
I am also a creationist. "Quest" is about creation in a true sense, but I guess it's not evident from the first chaper.
P.S. Is it Greenland, or Finland? My new favorite band is Rasmus.
Great intro for an interesting story.I like your character interplays, it flows very natural. I also like that you use mutated races of the human species. That always makes a Sci-Fi story more interesting. I'll read more later.
I am also a creationist. "Quest" is about creation in a true sense, but I guess it's not evident from the first chaper.
P.S. Is it Greenland, or Finland? My new favorite band is Rasmus.
6/21/2004 c1 dreamshell
Hey, I just all the chapters up thus far this afternoon. This is a really great idea AND a great story. If you're still looking for an additional writer, I'm still up for it. This could be fun. :)
Hey, I just all the chapters up thus far this afternoon. This is a really great idea AND a great story. If you're still looking for an additional writer, I'm still up for it. This could be fun. :)
4/4/2004 c12 
132mizu no kokoro
yay! chapter 12! a shorter chapter huh? but anyways, the description is still good! hopes to see more Ac-tion! keep it up!
~Never the same~
132mizu no kokoroyay! chapter 12! a shorter chapter huh? but anyways, the description is still good! hopes to see more Ac-tion! keep it up!
~Never the same~
2/29/2004 c11 mizu no kokoro
oh... another prized sentence, we're locked in... can't see any errors, well.and yea, wow, it's really really good so far! update soon!
~Never the same~
oh... another prized sentence, we're locked in... can't see any errors, well.and yea, wow, it's really really good so far! update soon!
~Never the same~
2/29/2004 c10 mizu no kokoro
U sure know alot about space stuff, ur description is just awesome~ wonder what happens next?
U sure know alot about space stuff, ur description is just awesome~ wonder what happens next?
1/17/2004 c8 mizu no kokoro
Seems pretty intersting so far, but man it took me awhile to read! Hmm. that sorta wore me down abit, so when u continue with the next chapter, I'll have more comments for ya, okay? In short, U MUST update.
~Never the same~
p.s. if i don't, remind me, cause i have bad memory O.o
Seems pretty intersting so far, but man it took me awhile to read! Hmm. that sorta wore me down abit, so when u continue with the next chapter, I'll have more comments for ya, okay? In short, U MUST update.
~Never the same~
p.s. if i don't, remind me, cause i have bad memory O.o