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for Wendybird

4/14/2004 c1 16RuathaWehrling
Hey there! I always liked Peter Pan as a kid, so I just had to read this. Here are my thoughts, as I read:
1.) "...that one's anatomically incorrect." - Hahaha! Excellent!
2.) "Awfully small, jewelry, perhaps." - This is grammatically incorrect. Try using either a period or a dash between "small" and "jewelry".
3.) "Someone's gotta do it." - Nice response. I really like how you introduce Peter. Childish, yet not in all ways.
Cute ending. Very Christmasy. You write really nicely, too. :) It's rare when I don't have to pick on a writer's grammar, but I certainly didn't need to here. Thanks for the story and keep writing!
12/28/2003 c1 4watergoddess1
Wonderful. Beautiful. It made me cry ^^
12/26/2003 c1 Devilkitti8
"and in any case, and it was such a lovely winter's day." you needa drop the second "and". ew. sushi. "shiny shrink-wrap" OH! hm. that was good. i'm sitting her looking thoughtful and nodding slightly, only you can't see me, so i have to tell you.
12/25/2003 c1 bob from nomand
impressive...i mean...i fucking hate most holiday stories...or any stories like this, i read them and i immediately think "phony contrived crap"...hmm, perhaps im a scrooge at heart...or maybe just bitter, but...enough of that, this is where i applaud you not disect my emotional problems...so, let me say bravo...if you can make a die-hard hater of such stories actually read one without flinching i think you've got something...and you did just that...
12/25/2003 c1 grace
aww that was soo cute! i hope ur going to cont this or write other peter pan stories =) esp ones that are a kinda take off from the new movie, which i just saw TODAY! it was soo good nd so is this story pls pls cont
12/25/2003 c1 2Miss Zippitydodah
wow, that was awesome! i love peter pan, the carton movie. the new one looks a little odd, but as i havent seen it, i can't pass judgement. nice work, your words flow well and they paint a very clear picture. happy christmas.

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