for Loving You1/2/2004 c1 
17OryssaV
That is one of the best(est) I read... First stanza is so honest, just makes me want to have someone like that in my life.
Second stanza is very time free and it is true that today is important... especially to lovers.
And "loving you" may sound childish when you say it up straight but it is very nicely engraved in your poem. It doesn't sound childish to me.
17OryssaVThat is one of the best(est) I read... First stanza is so honest, just makes me want to have someone like that in my life.
Second stanza is very time free and it is true that today is important... especially to lovers.
And "loving you" may sound childish when you say it up straight but it is very nicely engraved in your poem. It doesn't sound childish to me.
1/2/2004 c1 18desolus
*Nicely* put. It's simplicity, it's uncomplicated phrasings, makes it a wonderful poem. I loveded it. ^^
'only today we're watched by the heavens and
underneath the stars.'
- Sounds like something is missing, as though there is a part of the poem that was never written, or perhaps was, but was removed... Hm. I can't help but feel there's more to these sentences. It felt 'awkward'.
18desolus*Nicely* put. It's simplicity, it's uncomplicated phrasings, makes it a wonderful poem. I loveded it. ^^
'only today we're watched by the heavens and
underneath the stars.'
- Sounds like something is missing, as though there is a part of the poem that was never written, or perhaps was, but was removed... Hm. I can't help but feel there's more to these sentences. It felt 'awkward'.