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for Monopoly: A Remake of Julius Caesar

12/30/2003 c3 1seafoamguitar
okay one last thing before i take off. I made a new character sheet with pictures of them all.
- Peace
12/30/2003 c4 seafoamguitar
thanks for reading :-)
if someone is out of money, they can't play the game until they get more cash. they will most likely try to do this by borrowing. However, if they have no money by Friday, they're obviously out of the game.
12/30/2003 c4 HoneyB
*growls* Okay, so my computer decides to eat the two reviews I tried giving you for chapter three, so I'll start again.
Up until now, I was suspicious of Erin, always ending up with the most money, wondering if she had some secret stash cash in the mansion, maybe somehow smuggled in.
I wonder if Sara and Erin will continue their deal, or whether Sara will back out (methinks she will).
Question: if someone ends up with no money, is there an elimination that week or not?
12/29/2003 c2 seafoamguitar
thanks for reading this y'all! I dont want to keep reviewing my own stuff, but i have to say this. I edited Acts I and II, just in the first paragraphs, in case you want to read those. It should be on the site eventually. Anyways, thanks for the criticism, it's helpful.
12/29/2003 c2 HoneyB
lol, I should think they're getting sick of it, as they're playing nothing but Monopoly.
Thanks for the pics, they really helped with visualising the characters.
12/28/2003 c1 seafoamguitar
well thanks guys. if this helps, here's how the characters look like. Here's a site
And yeah, I realize that I didn't really develop them, but I sure hope you get used to them :-) This is my first story by the way, i'm a newbie. Anyways, Act II will be up.
12/28/2003 c1 HoneyB
Hmm, a very Mole-esq story, and the only thing I'm not too happy about is the characters. Maybe create a separate chapter to introduce them all, so they're not thrown at us, so to speak.
Like the introduction to Monopoly at the beginning, but am unsure as to why you placed this in 'play', other than because it is in script format. IMO, it would make a very impressive story if written properly, it would also free you from describing the characters if you decided to put a character introduction section in as well.
Oh, one last thing: allow anonymous reviews, a lot more people will leave feedback if you do that.
12/28/2003 c1 12Rhetorics
-_- reality TV huh... lol, this better be good. Hahah, monopoly competitions... we don’t’ even know the game that well -_-.
Well first of all, in a regular story, each characterw ould have their introduction where you would get used to them, get to know them, etc. For my story I’m doing rhght now, I only have four characters, so it’s easy to keep track. But yeah, suddenly we’re thrown with eight characters all at once, and there aren’t descriptions since it’s a play... so yeah, the characters take a little while to get used to, but yeah, I think it’ll get better later on. Lol, I can’t tell u how to fix it since I don’t’ do plays, but yeah.
Well, I’m not sure what u meant by symbolism, or allusions, but so far, I can see this as a reply of our game last night hahah. Erin is obviously the shanty, and later on, if someone gets all excited cuz he got money, that’s gonna be me. Dustin is definitely the mommyth. And obviously, we know Sara is u.
Well, so far, I think your characters are developing quite nicely. They each have their own, distinctive personality and you know it right away. The only one I’m unsure about is.. Eric, since he’s very.. quit o_o.
LOL, JUDE HAS SECRET MONEY! (just guessing...)
But yeah, by the end of the story, I kinda got to know the characters more, except matt and Eric, but u probably did that intentionally. Overall, good story, waiting for act 2...
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