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1/3/2006 c1 124in theory
I like it, but it's so tricky to read it, it breaks up the smoothness quite severely. The poem in itself is luxurious though.
4/14/2005 c1 7swtdreamz101
oo i like how u used the same first letter to complete each phrase, very poetic, nice poem
2/5/2005 c1 50anovelworld
hehe... great job! :o) keep it up.
9/20/2004 c1 6vague-perception
Nice piece - alliteration everywhere and it actually makes sense!
I agree with most about the great greedy gobs line, but you already know that by now, hehe, otherwise, as I said before, it's a nice piece. Hey, how come no-one reads my alliteration poem? lol just kidding, it's not as good as this : D Good work!
7/14/2004 c1 30Invicto
Hmm...from reading the reviews of this poem, I thought maybe I'd say something other than, "I like it!" I DO, mind you, but I believe in giving criticism as well.
Your poem sounds a tad strained...the imagery works, almost flawlessly, but its on a very steep edge...while the alliteration is obviously the point, you could have worked more fluidity into it.
Other than that, great job...stuff like this is hard to come up with. I like your imagination!
6/18/2004 c1 123loz
I like it. I really do except the great, greedy gobs line. It's a really disgusting image. But i guess its hard to alliterate a whole poem. Nice job though. Luvin ur work.
Luv Laura aka loz.x
5/30/2004 c1 20Demon Donatello
Well done, and I do like! Better than what I could do! ^_^ Keep writing and Kami-sama (God) bless!
3/24/2004 c1 6The simplest sign of life
I like it! The first line is my favorite, those three words placed together seem to really express the depth of human emotion. Keep writing!
3/13/2004 c1 Unchained Soul
Wow this is awesome! I like it lots.
3/9/2004 c1 23TheWolfEmperor
Clever piece. It actually makes sense as I'm reading it, which only adds to its charm.
2/2/2004 c1 Charity
Hmm.. very interesting. I like it.
2/2/2004 c1 24katmonkey
Cool. Very Creative. Well done for writing it entirly in alliteration!
*lime-girl*
1/29/2004 c1 7mesfab
That was a rather tricky poem to come up with. You do a great job with words.
1/28/2004 c1 20Penny so Pretty
hey- this is the girl that you said had a stupid poem... NEWSFLASH, Ms. I have way too much time on my hands! It was all a joke! My friend and I made it up because we hated our teacher who we nicknamed Nazi! Of course, you only read it because "you are a Nazi". yeah... that's true... a Nazi that doesn't know when someone is makin up a poem just for laughs! See, you wouldn't understand anything that I write, seeing as you're a college kid (Like, oh my God, I am so awesome, I'm in college!). Well, just to let you know, my friend and I don't give a crud what you think. Even if we did, you wouldn't care seeing as you're too superior.
- ME -
1/7/2004 c1 MindTear
hmm, the only line i don't like is the one about great greedy "gobs" (gobs? yugh. awful). now what would be really cool is if you were able to arrange the lines to spell something with the first letter of each line. that would be interesting, and to also still ahve it flow. as it is, and with the title being as such, the entire message of this poem is that it's possible to write a poem entirely with alliteration. hooray you... maybe if you incorporated it into some sort of powerful message it would mean more. however, i must commend you on your attempt to include some sort of style change into your poem. most people fail to accomplish even something of the sort. woefull should be woeful. feeling fine feels forced. fake, frail formality from "fine" freezes former flow. fix for final, firmly founded fit. funny? nah... lol. sorry. ~mindtear
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