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1/24/2004 c1 34Nasifah
OMG I love this story! The discriptions are so vivid! Also, I really like the name Gabby, and her childish innocence that seems to fit her name. But most of all, I like the part where you say, "He contemplated whether there were more drifting flakes about him, or whether there were more sands in a multitude of beaches." That's just awesome, and it also helps me to understand how distant he is from little Gabby at first. I think your characterizations are quite plain-Gabby is a sheltered, happy little girl and her father is a distant and mourning man. I'd really like to hear more from you.
Happy writing!
~Nasifah~
1/23/2004 c1 27Roxbury88
The story was kind of boring. Try and explain your characters better. It's called characterization. You shoudl try it some time.

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