for Tooth3/18/2004 c1 
47Dave500
i like it. sorry i haven't reveiwed your stuff much. i've been busy doing not related to fictionpress. i like froming a christian prayer group on the internet.
47Dave500i like it. sorry i haven't reveiwed your stuff much. i've been busy doing not related to fictionpress. i like froming a christian prayer group on the internet.
12/31/2003 c1 29Hangman
Ok... that was a bit messy to me... Im not sure if you can do a poem with 1 line verse then like 4 and then 2... but I found it messy.
I also thought that putting words like "woo" were kind of off-putting.
It seemed you were using a kind of figurative way of writing then a literal way and it didnt seem to blend either.. I mean, what is a tooth on a bike?
I think you could make something of it but it just needs to be cleaned up a bit..
29HangmanOk... that was a bit messy to me... Im not sure if you can do a poem with 1 line verse then like 4 and then 2... but I found it messy.
I also thought that putting words like "woo" were kind of off-putting.
It seemed you were using a kind of figurative way of writing then a literal way and it didnt seem to blend either.. I mean, what is a tooth on a bike?
I think you could make something of it but it just needs to be cleaned up a bit..