for Sins of the Vast RightWing conspiracy1/3/2004 c1 
14tresparadisE
i think you know what you're talking about here and its a great idea, (not many people talk about corporate welfare in poetry), but i suggest to kill off the rhyming and give examples.
(just have to mention that hydrogen cells aren't much of an alternative yet because to get to the stage at which they can be productive requires refining oil, so its the same problem in a different place.)
anywah, cheers!
-tresparadise
14tresparadisEi think you know what you're talking about here and its a great idea, (not many people talk about corporate welfare in poetry), but i suggest to kill off the rhyming and give examples.
(just have to mention that hydrogen cells aren't much of an alternative yet because to get to the stage at which they can be productive requires refining oil, so its the same problem in a different place.)
anywah, cheers!
-tresparadise
1/2/2004 c1 55tranCendenZ
i find it funny that in your poem you talk about cars that pump smoke...what do you think the liberals in washington get from place to place in..and what do you think every person who doesnt live in the mountains drives..AND second it's pretty funny that the one thing that has NO pollution and gives a biproduct of water (hydrogen feul cell cars) is something that the democrats and liberals in washington dont want to explore...and third..are you in the army and if you arent then what do you know about war...fourth i think the poem would be a lot more effective if your rhyming would flow better...i love how you feel strongly about things...but cut out the environment stuff that ALL people in america except for like vegans cause and make things flow better...otherwise i think its a great idea for a poem and should be followed up on
55tranCendenZi find it funny that in your poem you talk about cars that pump smoke...what do you think the liberals in washington get from place to place in..and what do you think every person who doesnt live in the mountains drives..AND second it's pretty funny that the one thing that has NO pollution and gives a biproduct of water (hydrogen feul cell cars) is something that the democrats and liberals in washington dont want to explore...and third..are you in the army and if you arent then what do you know about war...fourth i think the poem would be a lot more effective if your rhyming would flow better...i love how you feel strongly about things...but cut out the environment stuff that ALL people in america except for like vegans cause and make things flow better...otherwise i think its a great idea for a poem and should be followed up on
1/2/2004 c1 Quiet Aunt Zelda
I would love to say that this heartfelt, deep poem has completely changed my life.
.
Except
.
It's a generic clone of another thousand poems up. They are all exactly the same.
.
Right Wing = Evil
Dubya = Oil driven
Abortion = murder
.
But things aren't that black and white. I don't know why you decided to go for the rhyming angle. One trying to write such a moving poem should know that poems don't need to rhyme...especially when the rhymes are as good as:
.
'The bystanders watch the world afar, now theyh watch forever with the same par.'
.
I see the world wide truths in it like racism is out of hand and pollution is destroying our only resource. Poetry is truth. I understand then why you would add those two. Just know, they aren't edgy thoughts.
.
If you aren't an inspired poet with something they really need to say, don't act like you do.
.
I would love to say that this heartfelt, deep poem has completely changed my life.
.
Except
.
It's a generic clone of another thousand poems up. They are all exactly the same.
.
Right Wing = Evil
Dubya = Oil driven
Abortion = murder
.
But things aren't that black and white. I don't know why you decided to go for the rhyming angle. One trying to write such a moving poem should know that poems don't need to rhyme...especially when the rhymes are as good as:
.
'The bystanders watch the world afar, now theyh watch forever with the same par.'
.
I see the world wide truths in it like racism is out of hand and pollution is destroying our only resource. Poetry is truth. I understand then why you would add those two. Just know, they aren't edgy thoughts.
.
If you aren't an inspired poet with something they really need to say, don't act like you do.
.