1/3/2004 c1 7jhgfjvkjg
Don't take this off again, awright? It captured me, I dunno why. Oh yeah:
She wrapped her arm around and held herself,
trying to get some warmth, "but it's no use."
This sounds a little strange, d'ya mean:
"But it was no use"?
Her "stuff" nose was painted in red by the weather.
"Stuffy"? As in full of snot? (lol)
She wanted to forget,
to ignore, to move on, "but can she?"
"But could she"
Anyhoo those are the only mistakes I found - it just has to do with the tense.
I love how you used the mask metaphor - brillant. Also, yeah it's sad, but well written and intriguing. Maybe I'm just morbid? This was great.
Rock on.