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3/11/2004 c1 sorry to break this to you
the last line of once more made me laugh out loud. the rest of it's okay, but the too-directness of the word "die", coupled with the too-shortness of the line... it made me giggle. i'd suggest something like "to be removed".
1/10/2004 c1 40twisted little secret
It's got a good rhythm and a driving beat which carries it, which is necessary as it doesn't feel quite right, something feels missing, and it's a bit confusing towards the end, but straightens out for it.
It's a good piece though.
-nix-

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