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2/16/2010 c1 23thinking.about.thinking
Worded so beautifully...

thinking.about.thinking
10/13/2008 c1 11Staring Elf
I read some of your work but I must say that 'nullified' is the one that I most preferred. The first two lines make a great impact, they give you the feeling of staring into a stranger's eyes and then being conscious of a different universe from that person's point of view.

Thanks for posting

staring elf
6/15/2004 c1 96Mitsunaga
Very elaborate. Never been any good at using words like that. I'm kind of a minimalist with Haiku. Simple but efficient. Nice job.
5/12/2004 c1 210Kelpylion
Pure, dizzying, frightening magic.
jeez...too bloody lazy, tired, and/or heat sick to review this properly. Suffice it to say that, while I was reading this, I completely forgot that it's 85 degrees and 99.99% humidity and somehow not raining and it bites. So easy to fall into the little universe of this poem, of this girl's mind. Bloody fascinating.
4/18/2004 c1 traylin
this is truly, truly beautiful
3/16/2004 c1 Melancholy Butterfly
This is most definitely a powerful and mesmerizing poem, which left me stunned, taking in each word you used and reflecting upon it with awe. Your word choice is magnificent, eg. "magnifying a locked reality", "nullified eros in abstract violence" and I like you use of metaphors. It is interesting how you turned a topic, one in which most people fear or simply don't understand to empathise, and turn it into something so capitivating and beautiful.
3/6/2004 c1 133bach-player
i loved this poem! i have a daughter who is schizophrenic and every word had meaning for me! wonderful use of language! "locked reality ", "nullified eros, in abstract violence", "last prayers of a dying star"...i found these phrases to be especially powerful!
2/1/2004 c1 6JuniperSky
Excuse me while I go find my dictionary... ;)
Actuly I liked it.
JS
1/24/2004 c1 122Free-Writer
This is wonderful...I didnt understand it at first but after a while I think I get it. I really like the last two lines.
1/21/2004 c1 80Plato's Optic Runaway
Mesmerizing. You most undisputably have an unsettling knowledge of the human psyche, and you have a shockingly intuitive ability to manifest it in such splendor. I loved the reference to Eros; wonderful touch there. Have you ever read "The Eden Express" by Mark Voneggut? I'd highly suggest it, you writing like this. Anyway, superb.
1/15/2004 c1 Jessica Daisy Dead Petals
Wow. "her mind is pretty." I liked that line. And your use of language here is amazing. Such pretty and underused words that came together so easily. And I like the dying star metaphor- ever heard of AFI? Their lyrics have lots of those types of metaphors in it. . .the only thing I could find wrong is a typo. Brilliant.
-Jess
1/13/2004 c1 36Psycho-kyugurl
It reminds me of someone I once knew...the feeling is just there, it left me speechless...An awesome art this is.
1/11/2004 c1 127godawful teen-angst poetry
Ah...every line of this is amazing amzing. Can I even pick a favorite? No. So I'm taking the easy way out and just adding the whole thing to my favorites list. God, if this is what you call "writer's block"...
~lyv
p.s.
the answer was weekend. Yeah it was basically impossible. But made sense to me...^^
1/11/2004 c1 44The Assassin's Shadow
That's cool that you portray her as beautiful. I'm bipolar and people tend to think of me as a freak. That is actually my nickname in school...it amuses me.
1/11/2004 c1 4kiryuu500
nice poem. i like it.
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