for Fear1/10/2004 c1 
27Morcar
Hmm... I've just looked at your profile... sorry I didn't realize you were ten, that does rather make the difference.
For a ten year old you have an excellent eye for rhythm and structure, and if you're as good for your age in ten years time as you are now you're going to be truly excellent.
Like the other two poems of yours that I've reviewed, this one is a little naive - but frankly it'd be crazy to expect anything else at your age, it's also well realized and well structured. Again I'll say that you often reach too much for rhymes. Non-rhyming poetry works just as well as the rhyming sort, and you should never put something in "just for the rhyme".
I hope I've been of some use to you. Do keep it up because you really do have potential.
27MorcarHmm... I've just looked at your profile... sorry I didn't realize you were ten, that does rather make the difference.
For a ten year old you have an excellent eye for rhythm and structure, and if you're as good for your age in ten years time as you are now you're going to be truly excellent.
Like the other two poems of yours that I've reviewed, this one is a little naive - but frankly it'd be crazy to expect anything else at your age, it's also well realized and well structured. Again I'll say that you often reach too much for rhymes. Non-rhyming poetry works just as well as the rhyming sort, and you should never put something in "just for the rhyme".
I hope I've been of some use to you. Do keep it up because you really do have potential.
1/10/2004 c1 151wastedlovexxx
This is really good.You really have it going well and it is just perfect from what I see.If you get the chance check out some of my poems I would love to know what you think about them.
151wastedlovexxxThis is really good.You really have it going well and it is just perfect from what I see.If you get the chance check out some of my poems I would love to know what you think about them.