for Untitled9/13/2004 c1 
106Akira Bane
That poem is really deep and dark, and very stark. . . And that's what makes me like it! Very nicely wrote.
106Akira BaneThat poem is really deep and dark, and very stark. . . And that's what makes me like it! Very nicely wrote.
2/2/2004 c1 123breakdown in the waiting room
Amazing. I wish you'd title them, though. I have a feeling they would be very original.
-Jessica
123breakdown in the waiting roomAmazing. I wish you'd title them, though. I have a feeling they would be very original.
-Jessica
2/1/2004 c1 12haikumoon
I saw all of our reviews on my poetry and I thought I'd return the favor and check out your own stuff. This poem speaks more than words. I am impressed. My two favorite stanzas in this poem are the first and the fourth. Well done.
~OB~
12haikumoonI saw all of our reviews on my poetry and I thought I'd return the favor and check out your own stuff. This poem speaks more than words. I am impressed. My two favorite stanzas in this poem are the first and the fourth. Well done.
~OB~
1/31/2004 c1 12Mirrorwind
Thank you for your thoughtful review of my poem. This isn't a guilt-trip, I love finding good poetry, and I have! A few things: I think that the repetition of preacher-preaching-preacher weakens that line a bit, or makes it awkward. Also in that same verse, I just don't like the world pommel, for some reason. Both of those things are probably more personal taste than any actual weakness in your writing, so feel more than free to ignore both points. Other than that, I really like the imagery and mood in this poem - the whole thing is very vivid and intense.
12MirrorwindThank you for your thoughtful review of my poem. This isn't a guilt-trip, I love finding good poetry, and I have! A few things: I think that the repetition of preacher-preaching-preacher weakens that line a bit, or makes it awkward. Also in that same verse, I just don't like the world pommel, for some reason. Both of those things are probably more personal taste than any actual weakness in your writing, so feel more than free to ignore both points. Other than that, I really like the imagery and mood in this poem - the whole thing is very vivid and intense.