for A Jolt From Reality10/29/2004 c6 
9Reda
Well, it's interesting, but I think a bit more description would make it even better. And, one grammar correction I have to make. The way I learned it, when you have numbers in a story you want to write them out like instead of putting 3 or 5 write out three or five.
Keep working on it. -_~
~Reda
9RedaWell, it's interesting, but I think a bit more description would make it even better. And, one grammar correction I have to make. The way I learned it, when you have numbers in a story you want to write them out like instead of putting 3 or 5 write out three or five.
Keep working on it. -_~
~Reda
7/26/2004 c4 2Queen of dawn
This is good story though you tend to use alot of dialogue so it makes it look as though you are not putting much effort of description. However, this story is good, keep up the hard work ;)
2Queen of dawnThis is good story though you tend to use alot of dialogue so it makes it look as though you are not putting much effort of description. However, this story is good, keep up the hard work ;)
7/6/2004 c7 3Sauron764
So I just got your review, and I figured I'd return the favor.
The first thing I notice is that your style doen't lend itself to easy reading. It's eaither all dialogue or all narrative. A balance between the 2 is preferable.
Your names are highly unusual. I haven't decided whether I like them or not.
Keep writing!
3Sauron764So I just got your review, and I figured I'd return the favor.
The first thing I notice is that your style doen't lend itself to easy reading. It's eaither all dialogue or all narrative. A balance between the 2 is preferable.
Your names are highly unusual. I haven't decided whether I like them or not.
Keep writing!
7/5/2004 c7 Ainariel Helyanwe
make sure ppl know who is talking to, it is so confusing, read your last chapter over agian, you will see that it is a little confusing, it moves to fast! ah!
make sure ppl know who is talking to, it is so confusing, read your last chapter over agian, you will see that it is a little confusing, it moves to fast! ah!
7/5/2004 c6 Ainariel Helyanwe not signed in
this is confusing, i have no idea who is talkig, i would like to know so could ya fix that? thankx!
this is confusing, i have no idea who is talkig, i would like to know so could ya fix that? thankx!
5/25/2004 c5 Meisterkugeln
Love the plot, much more interesting then simply giving the boy a faerie godmother, the fact that the children of the kingdom alienated him made sense, which is nice compared to reading stories about people becoming heros for it. The river is a curiousity because I'm not entirely sure if it has a mind of it's own or if someone is controlling it.
Either way, shall keep reading.
-Catherine
Love the plot, much more interesting then simply giving the boy a faerie godmother, the fact that the children of the kingdom alienated him made sense, which is nice compared to reading stories about people becoming heros for it. The river is a curiousity because I'm not entirely sure if it has a mind of it's own or if someone is controlling it.
Either way, shall keep reading.
-Catherine
5/21/2004 c4 20PoetryFictionGirl
Majestically well-written with a good story plot and characters to go with it. I would like to read more of it and other stories. Keep up the good work!
20PoetryFictionGirlMajestically well-written with a good story plot and characters to go with it. I would like to read more of it and other stories. Keep up the good work!
3/15/2004 c2 El Perro Fantastico
this is getting good. i posted more stuff. keep writin man i wanna red more
this is getting good. i posted more stuff. keep writin man i wanna red more
3/14/2004 c3 2stickyelf
Yup! I like this chapter better, but why did you leave it off their! Ahh! Not a cliffhanger! I want to know his powers! Oh well. Great job!
~Sticky Elf
p.s. Thanks again for the review.
2stickyelfYup! I like this chapter better, but why did you leave it off their! Ahh! Not a cliffhanger! I want to know his powers! Oh well. Great job!
~Sticky Elf
p.s. Thanks again for the review.
3/12/2004 c1 Clara Wanewrite
Awesome Job! I love your idea about fantasy. Humor is much needed in this world.
Awesome Job! I love your idea about fantasy. Humor is much needed in this world.
3/11/2004 c1 EL PERRO FANTASTICO
hey this is really good. my only comment is that any name that ends in an "a" sorta sounds like a girls name but dont worry about it. the erst was so good it doesnt really matter
hey this is really good. my only comment is that any name that ends in an "a" sorta sounds like a girls name but dont worry about it. the erst was so good it doesnt really matter
3/5/2004 c3 6Ainariel-Helyanwe
oo i wonder what his powers are, make him able to transfrom into anything!
6Ainariel-Helyanweoo i wonder what his powers are, make him able to transfrom into anything!
1/20/2004 c2 Ainariel-Helyanwe
It is good, write another chapter i want to find out if he is mortal or immortal! it is a good idea for a story i hop you update soon!
It is good, write another chapter i want to find out if he is mortal or immortal! it is a good idea for a story i hop you update soon!