4/30/2004 c2 kamui-kun
Tandandanda! So that's what Project REi is all about - some sort of device that would be able to bring back the dead to life. Ah... nice way of revealing the central focus of the piece!

Ah... at first I thought that there was like a gap of ten years between the flashback and the present but now I see that it was only like days apart. Hehehe... my mistake on that one. No wonder the memory of the incident was still fresh in his mind. It only happened yesterday!

Yes but I still see the guilt that he harbors for that incident. Although I do not know if he's the sole one to be blamed, I think that he has a very good reason to pursue on with the project.

Hm... but there's still that question what was this war that they were fighting? Were they really the good side or the bad? What is this RIN intelligence that he was talking about? Love the questions.

Well, I think that this story has great potential and would be glad and thankful if you would continue it! Hm... when will chapter one come out? Hehehe... take your time! For the while, I'll try to check out your other works!

2/15/2004 c1 61Spoocial Slim
Ok i went through it again and found some of the 'tense' problems...
He tripped, suddenly, along with her. A dangerously steep slope lies in their path
Lynn knew it'd be too late before Max finally realizes
The enemy must not know they're still alive. Max refused to believe that Lynn would die.
Yet, Max believed that beneath the rubble, his Lynn lies somewhere.
Knowing his duties and where his loyalty is pledged, Max had to force himself to be separated from Lynn this short while
Where she was kept. Where she is now placed(this could be intentional, tho)
Perhaps in at a later time: once the project is completed with success. Perhaps then, she could be brought back to life.
He will aid that project succeed. He will bring her back to life. (once again, prolly intentional)
Hope that helps you. :) Thanks heaps for ur honest reviews. :)
-Slim

2/5/2004 c2 148JJR Meerraf
Really intersting, really intriguing, definately a must read sort of material. If I don't read immediatley once you publish, please forgive me, I've become really bad at that, but please keep writing, I'm looking forward to heearing it!

2/1/2004 c2 3Emerald Ember
yeay she didnt die! lol but shes not very alive is she...hm oh well while theres life theres hope the old saying goes...slight things that i noticed um...
"once a project is completed with success". it doesnt quite make sense, should it be the project because your talkign about project rei but when you say "a" instead of "the" the reader loses the idea of what the "a" is...hm that didnt make sense very well did it...umm if it didnt tell me and i'll try to clarify it a bit better...one other thing with the style of writing you have for this story i dont know some words just dont fit with the rest of it does that make sense...see when Lynn is back at the base in this sort of setting you wouldnt think she'd be taken to a sick bay... i wouldve thought of an infirmary or something like that...sorry just being picky i guess...still good though, i didnt notice any grammatical mistakes or spelling, um so yeah good continuation...look fwd to update :)
ps thanks for reading LDoP :D

1/19/2004 c1 Eshana
(sorry too lazy to sign in)
aw how sad, but sweet, aw that was awesome, drew the reader in from the first sentance, definatley continue it! make sure you complete orphan and opherion! :) seriously that was good, i sw no mistakes so yeah keep writing! :)