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for River Machine

1/29/2004 c1 1Lauren K
Good. I wanna see how they relate, these two tales. I dislike the line "They'll see each other tomorrow.." etc. It just doesn't need to exist at all, I think. I do like Why can't Dara be normal and conformed just this once?

But maybe it's supposed to be in a different tense?
1/25/2004 c1 7Lightness
this was absolutely wonderful. i loved it from the very beginning. the introduction was great. and your characters are very life-like. i liked the names (theyre different but not wayy out there). one thing that was a bit bothersome was that erick kinda seemed like a college student or something and then its like, 'ooh wait. hes only fifteen'.
anyway. overall, youve done a great job. i hope you continue. bye now.
1/25/2004 c1 29Autumn tears
Awesome story so far! :D I love stories that start off with long chapters, otherwise its a whole lotta waiting for updates :P Anyhow, very interesting, your characters are very believable, although I also thought Erick was older than he turned out to be. Oh well, it's still awesome, and really funny. Especially about her driving the car like she stole it. That had me on the ground rolling . Not literally, but yea. Anyhow, nice job!
1/24/2004 c1 4technogeist
i really loved this! i cant wait for more :)
one thing though. when you introduced Eric into the story, i imagined him as about 25 until farther down in the story you said he was 15. maybe i missed something...
anyways, i think it was wonderfull.
1/23/2004 c1 MiraiSenlan
Why hello there. Lovely story, I like the funny lines, but my eyes hurt a little from the small font @@. Anyhow, great work, I'll be waiting for more chapters.
1/20/2004 c1 14Kymik
Looks very good so far. You have an excellent conversational way of writing. I like the characters so far, though I think Adrianne is the least developed of the four.
I hate flying too. And it is true that you can develop serious conditions if you don't move your legs around enough. It's called DVT (Deep Vein Thrombosis) and causes blood clots to form in your legs. No, I hardly think about it at all.
I'm adding you to my alert list, so I hope you update soon.
Cheers :)
1/20/2004 c1 24Sidewalks
Hey there! I liked this, it was funny even tho a bit confusing.. but then, I guess it's my insomnia making me dumb.
-smiles. I guess I'll have to come and reread this once I'll get some rest.

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