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1/26/2004 c1 33insane brain
ahh! damn you! yours is way better, and less cornier than mine! the bitch-witch hates my journals. ='(
1/23/2004 c2 4LilGrimmy
Dark and interesting. Good work overall. More concerns however, before you hand this in. You still have way to much of your own writing style in there for it to be a plausible epilogue. The word flying was used when it should have been fleeing, and a few little errors. Nice ending. "was a gruesome badly done cliché. That has been noted." and DUALLY I might add. Lol, j/k you small mythical mexican lizards eyeball secretion.
1/23/2004 c1 LilGrimmy
No Descriptions! Get me my heresy ruler. Theres some blasphemy bashing afoot, along with some mighty strong witchery! Anyways i have some comments, most hateful and evil in ways unimaginable and uncomprehendable even to the likes of (shudder) Miss Mckean! For starters, Good luck signs are better refered to as Omens, 'Removed of His Breathing privleges' is dumb sounding, like your just trying to sound like a frasier episode, the names Raphael, Eduardo, and the like that you have created don't fit the story. The writing style is much to your own to fit with the Pearl, and the strange and awkward diaglogue is beginning to bug me. Let me see what chapter two holds in store.

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