for Just One Night7/9/2004 c1 
73An Inside Joke
His reasons for killing his friend seemed just a little vauge. Did he do it in a fit of rage, or plan it when he heard that he was seeing his wife? Good way of showing his reaction to the death.
73An Inside JokeHis reasons for killing his friend seemed just a little vauge. Did he do it in a fit of rage, or plan it when he heard that he was seeing his wife? Good way of showing his reaction to the death.
6/2/2004 c1 Joshua Bowsher
I am a fan of your use of adjectives in the begining, perhaps you could build more suspense between the blood on the hands and the corpse. other than that i think it's great.
I am a fan of your use of adjectives in the begining, perhaps you could build more suspense between the blood on the hands and the corpse. other than that i think it's great.
6/2/2004 c1 imconfoosed
wOOt! I like it ^-^ It is well written (at least I think so..Im no expert) You got a few typos but just like 2. Lol.
I would very much appreciate if you would review my story ^-^
Yeah, but you should definitely try to write more to this. It's very interesting.
^-^
wOOt! I like it ^-^ It is well written (at least I think so..Im no expert) You got a few typos but just like 2. Lol.
I would very much appreciate if you would review my story ^-^
Yeah, but you should definitely try to write more to this. It's very interesting.
^-^
1/23/2004 c1 2Abcraft
Well... Honestly I like the idea but you really have to develop the story before killing off the friend. I'd suggest doing at least 50 words before killing off the friend make the characters understand everything that occured it will make the story much more real. You have symtoms of making your writing like a movie something that really can't be done. Now if you plan on making this a flashback than I guess this is alright but I think it is in your best interest to go back and write a few chapters developing all the characters which will open up new conflicts when you kill off the friend. (Wife, friends, ect.) Trust me it will make it far better.
The concept IS intestesting though. :)
BTW. if you are interested could you read my: Corruption: The Origin story that I'm writing? I too could use some reassuance to continue writing it.
2AbcraftWell... Honestly I like the idea but you really have to develop the story before killing off the friend. I'd suggest doing at least 50 words before killing off the friend make the characters understand everything that occured it will make the story much more real. You have symtoms of making your writing like a movie something that really can't be done. Now if you plan on making this a flashback than I guess this is alright but I think it is in your best interest to go back and write a few chapters developing all the characters which will open up new conflicts when you kill off the friend. (Wife, friends, ect.) Trust me it will make it far better.
The concept IS intestesting though. :)
BTW. if you are interested could you read my: Corruption: The Origin story that I'm writing? I too could use some reassuance to continue writing it.
1/20/2004 c1 6Amethyst Garden
Woah. I can see a lot of ways this story can go. Its all up to you. I most definatly want you to continue. And thanks for reviewing my story. Thanks to you the next chapter will be up shortly!
6Amethyst GardenWoah. I can see a lot of ways this story can go. Its all up to you. I most definatly want you to continue. And thanks for reviewing my story. Thanks to you the next chapter will be up shortly!