for Adam6/30/2004 c1 Childsnake
That was an interesting ending, great to see though. I had to read it twice, well just because i had to. I enjoyed it very much. All it needs is a few 'enters' everynow and again and when different people speak to be on another line. That would make in look longer and easier to read. :D
I don't think much could be said to make it better, however i do think a bit more on the second day would be good. Also more backstory would be good, just because i want backstory.
This is very good and well writen, looking forward to reading your other stories.
That was an interesting ending, great to see though. I had to read it twice, well just because i had to. I enjoyed it very much. All it needs is a few 'enters' everynow and again and when different people speak to be on another line. That would make in look longer and easier to read. :D
I don't think much could be said to make it better, however i do think a bit more on the second day would be good. Also more backstory would be good, just because i want backstory.
This is very good and well writen, looking forward to reading your other stories.
5/5/2004 c1 swimily52
wow. that is really scary. i would have never have guessed that adam would do that. you are very good a surprise endings. while i was reading it i saw that i could not scroll down any more and i wondered how it could end so quickly, but i guess that is how.
wow. that is really scary. i would have never have guessed that adam would do that. you are very good a surprise endings. while i was reading it i saw that i could not scroll down any more and i wondered how it could end so quickly, but i guess that is how.
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