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12/4/2005 c1 7Alankria
A wonderful slices of life story, it shows perfectly how one thing, always lingering in the background, can bring an end to a relationship when it's exposed.
1/8/2005 c1 7tickle-me-pretty15
i really like this story its simple but sweet.She expesses her emotions in a thread of string. Your right no ones perfect. Well i hope you continue writing becuase... well you are like me in some ways.. its i throw my stories away, while you put them out for the world, well i hope you keep it up :)your reader ~tickles~
11/14/2004 c1 B-Rad
Hello. I'm a fan of your work and I was just wondering if you have any plans to post anything new any time soon. If you're going through a painful bought of writers' block (which I understand completely) then I'm sorry to bother you; I was just curious.
8/27/2004 c1 26pneumothorax
It's got a nice moral, the idea of having no skirt left quite sad in a way. I didn't like the part of 'born the same and everything else is your own doing' because you don't have so much control for the start of your life, which made me feel that everything I did as a little kid was my own fault. Obviously it was but you aren't so.. aware of it.
2/29/2004 c1 Phoebe Buffet
I liked this... it was different. And I liked the whole hidden meaning behind it too.
Peace
PHOEBE
1/31/2004 c1 7babydoll-007
hey,
wow, i really like your style... clean, simplistic, and filled with meaningful subtext. great job...one of the best things i've read on fictionpress in a while. looking forward to (hopefully!) reading more of your work!
bye,
-laura
1/26/2004 c1 8Day2Dreamer
You know what?
I think this is a fantastic piece of work! It's well-written and i love the use of a simple idea such as a loose thread to show their relationship.. It's unique, and i really hope you continue with this story - it sounds like it has great potential!
Keep it up!
~Day2Dreamer
1/26/2004 c1 MindTear
interesting. he's a jerk, but we're all obsessive compulsive about some things. it seems strange that it would go so long and not be a problem, for they obviously live/sleep together (may even be married. the information isn't known. The impersonal aspect of it is a nice touch, you never tell much about the characters... it allows for a continual development. many writers (bad ones) try and explain the entire character in the first chapter, or have a character chapter in the beginning, one that explains all the characters. I hate that style, because then when a new character is seen, you have to go back and read their bio, and it's all really annoying, at least a good job with that.
Some of this doesn't seem as realistic, like the characters lose their personality, or certain things don't fit. Some of the descriptions and dialogues skip steps, making it choppy... all in all it isn't too bad, though. Perhaps instead of saying "She was surpised," you could embellish that. I think it's the short sentences, maybe, that make it seem choppy... there are several examples of this throughout... and very vew transition words. Hmm. That's about it, though... an interesting idea. Remember, as you read it, your mind will make the transitions (because you wrote it)... the reader doesn't have this benefit.
~mindtear
1/25/2004 c1 Harmonized
thats really interesting. i wonder whats gonna happen next (i presume theres more?) since the summary only covered this. good job. i like.
1/24/2004 c1 7jhgfjvkjg
Something so completely stupid and popintless (no offense) and yet you wove it into an interesting short story. Your writing flows. This reminds me of the damned little things my parents fought about before they divorced. . .I cant expalin how happy I am to come across something like this (woho); how people interpert dumb small things, I've filled notebooks with queries like this. . .u'know? I always thought I was the only one. . . It's like the "Don't sweat the small stuff it's all just small stuff" eh? I dunno? (I'm tired so if this reveiw doesn't make sense blame the fact I'm an Insomniac!) Write more. Rock on.

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