
10/1/2011 c1
4lookingwest
For a return for my story that was given almost a month ago-so sorry for the delay, I'm normally *not* this bad, it's just been this year, man, haha.
I think with the first line title-I wasn't sure if that was just that, a title, or if you mean it to be part of the poem, so maybe set that apart if it's the title. I really like the word though, and the combination of it, kind of like making up your own definition and word too, which I also like.
Liked the line "forced down a packed highway" that had some great imagery there, striking. Liked the lines that followed after that too, I get this real since of constriction that I liked. Liked the incorporation of that word "afterimages" again, and the road imagery. Great word choice with "Blazoned", I never see that word, haha. I think there's a great speaker relationship with this too, it's very sincere to the "you". Enjoyed the theme of kind of feeling stuck but forced to move forward, I think you depicted that really well. Overall enjoyed this as a free verse, couldn't see it in any other format!

For a return for my story that was given almost a month ago-so sorry for the delay, I'm normally *not* this bad, it's just been this year, man, haha.
I think with the first line title-I wasn't sure if that was just that, a title, or if you mean it to be part of the poem, so maybe set that apart if it's the title. I really like the word though, and the combination of it, kind of like making up your own definition and word too, which I also like.
Liked the line "forced down a packed highway" that had some great imagery there, striking. Liked the lines that followed after that too, I get this real since of constriction that I liked. Liked the incorporation of that word "afterimages" again, and the road imagery. Great word choice with "Blazoned", I never see that word, haha. I think there's a great speaker relationship with this too, it's very sincere to the "you". Enjoyed the theme of kind of feeling stuck but forced to move forward, I think you depicted that really well. Overall enjoyed this as a free verse, couldn't see it in any other format!