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for Degenerate Prince Charming

6/4/2017 c1 Guest
This is amazing, so well written and so interesting! Is there a recording of the song cause seriously this is amazing
4/23/2010 c1 32moving in stillness
how far down does the rabbit hole go? - - Wonderful line. I've always loved anything Alice in Wonderland-related, but my favorite part of this sublime poem would be the fourth stanza, especially 'the snow white was locked up in a clock/a dock, a sock, don't mock me, sir,/the future's history' bit.

Loved it.
10/30/2009 c1 22Breathing Ice
I loved it. 'cinderella's broken heels in shattered fragments on the walk dripping blood like water from a sky where gods don't talk'

...Amazing...
7/22/2009 c1 6letyoursoultakeflight
Wow, this is amazing! I love it, espcially the first couple of stanzas, its lovely :)
9/4/2005 c1 Ryochan8
I could pick apart your poem, line by line, and yet I still can't pick my favorite one. This is fucking amazing, and haunting, too. Words can't explain how much I love this piece. I tried though. ^-^;;
10/19/2004 c1 2Tass
nifty
7/14/2004 c1 6xenocaster
i like this poem, but i cannot say why. the way i see this poem, and the way you saw it when you wrote it are two seperat entities, and what i see is not neccesaraly what you see. anyway, i love this poem and i would like to say that you have more talent than some authors who have lotsa money... um.. yea, im not one for making sence
7/3/2004 c1 l'aura
This is about the fourth time I've read your poem, but I only just got up the un-laziness to actually review. Hmm. That was completely unnecessary. Anyway, on go I:
My favourite verses are the third and fourth, since I have a bit of a weakness for fairy tales and allusions. Both together make me triply happy.
I would like to congratulate you on your use of "no-one's" in line 8. It fit in very unobtrusively and appeared docile. I have not yet managed to make my nobody's/no-one's behave, so I bow to those who can.
I doubt that you are ever going to edit this poem again, but here are my two cents on what I would like to see: for you to find some other (more graceful) way to write line 5 ("together, threaded, forever, felt/like fingers...). I can see that perhaps you wrote it like that for effect, but the rest of your poem is so flowing that line 5 sticks out rather awkwardly.
Whew, I do ramble. Don't know if any of this is useful/entertaining/amusing or just idiotic and nattery (word? not word? ah well), but here it is.
5/16/2004 c1 13evm
I love the sadness of this poem, the way it is woven in with a desperate anger for when things were simple and pretty, and so much easier. The hope for a better future that can't be because the past is dead. Am I right? I can't help feeling though, that the latter half of the poem fits into itself better than the former does. At the begining, each stanza feels like it's own seperate poem. On the other hand, it was halfway enjoyable that way. I especially loved the second to last two segements. I thought you hit the real stride of the poem there. Lovely work, keep writing!
-Poke
2/2/2004 c1 5Akira Ichijouji
I think you showed me this a while ago, but it wasn't finished...or something...Whatever. I don't remember what I said about it then, so I'm reviewing anyway. Again. Sort of.
I have very few words for the sheer amazingness of this, so I'll spare you the open-mouthed gushing and do an honest-to-goodness review of the song itself (oh my! Will wonders never cease!)
First of all, the rhyme scheme is very clever. I love the trio of rhyming lines in the first two verses. The flip-flopping between the order and familiarity of rhyme and slightly-jarring times when there is no rhyme definitly fit the disillusioned mood of the song. You get tricked into thinking you know how it's going to go, then suddenly you figure out that, hey, that isn't how it is at all.
Second, the use of imagery really makes me stop in my tracks and say "wow". It's crystal-clear and almost bittersweet, and, honest-to-god, I felt like crying during the last two stanzas. Don't laugh. ^_~ I would have to say that my favourite lines are "cinderella's broken heels in shattered fragments on the walk/dripping blood like water from a sky where gods don't talk". That just...gives me shivers for some reason. ^^; It's just so vivid and, I think, sums up the entire meaning and feeling of the piece.
It's also refreshing to see a song that doesn't use the traditional "verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, chorus, chorus" format; in this there is enough variety to be interesting and enough similarity in the length of the stanzas and the repitition of "and it's sad, so sad/degenerate prince charming..." to tie it all together. *thumbs up* Great planning.
Oh my! I just realised how long this is. ^^; I'll stop now, though I could keep going with my exposition. I'll just finish by saying to keep up the good work, m'dear. ^^;
1/28/2004 c1 15Devi Lethe
Wow. I like it very much. All the fairy tale allusion add a wonderful undertone. Nice job. You wouldn't happen to have tabs for it, would you?

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