for A Father Letting His Son Pay for Himself8/18/2004 c1 
12Terra Tigra
Great descriptions here.
"The air is warm water
courtesy of the
Gulf and by way of
Arizona, and it sticks
to skin, and hair is
like the grass missing from
the Mojave."
I thought those lines were really awesome. Also, I'm glad you used freeverse, you did a nice job with it.
I think towards the end you get a little too vague in your descriptions and I got a little lost. Maybe those images could be a little stronger.
I really like what you have here.
Nicely done.
Arrivederci!
-Terra-
PS: Where are you? Not dead, I hope.
12Terra TigraGreat descriptions here.
"The air is warm water
courtesy of the
Gulf and by way of
Arizona, and it sticks
to skin, and hair is
like the grass missing from
the Mojave."
I thought those lines were really awesome. Also, I'm glad you used freeverse, you did a nice job with it.
I think towards the end you get a little too vague in your descriptions and I got a little lost. Maybe those images could be a little stronger.
I really like what you have here.
Nicely done.
Arrivederci!
-Terra-
PS: Where are you? Not dead, I hope.
4/14/2004 c1 8Soleil Antoinette
Interesting, different...was it meant for a poem or a thought? It was good any how, only the format a bit difficult to read. But hey - uploading stuff can be a load and half of work to finally get it right, and then one might not even get it right. Anyways, good poem/thought here. Keep on writing
8Soleil AntoinetteInteresting, different...was it meant for a poem or a thought? It was good any how, only the format a bit difficult to read. But hey - uploading stuff can be a load and half of work to finally get it right, and then one might not even get it right. Anyways, good poem/thought here. Keep on writing
2/24/2004 c1 6Gilee7
. . . right. I like all the words you used and stuff, you're awesome at that. The format was distracting though and kept me from truly understanding everything I was reading. I'm hesitant to get on to you about that though cuz some of my stuff is screwed up when I upload onto here, but I think this was intentional. Besides that, very good job.
6Gilee7. . . right. I like all the words you used and stuff, you're awesome at that. The format was distracting though and kept me from truly understanding everything I was reading. I'm hesitant to get on to you about that though cuz some of my stuff is screwed up when I upload onto here, but I think this was intentional. Besides that, very good job.