Just In
for Rise of the Dawn

8/23/2008 c27 1crystal-chan
LOVE! Oh dear Lord, this was worth the wait! Inky, I adore you. :)

Poor Kaezik. I hate that he's so out of it. I can't wait for him to get better so he can get Rigga back.

Rigga wasn't in the chapter again... Yup. Magical water that makes you invisible!

So what's Shumba gonna do when he has to leave Ryunne behind? Gack! I so wanted him to just give up and make out with Ryunne already! Actually, he'll break Ryunne's heart by not confessing, then Shanza will find out, and kick Shumba's ass for hurting his little brother. Shumba doesn't understand; he's in more danger if he DOESN'T reciprocate Ryunne's feelings. :)

Update soon! (Er!)
8/22/2008 c27 Rye-Pockets
Oh, Inky, it's me, Sixpence. I'm also The-Account, cause I've switched accounts... Just so you know.

Sherak... you know, when you said he had the diamond branded on his neck, wasn't he that guy Shumba was talking about? The one who sang beautifully until the purging, when they branded his throat? Or maybe I'm just crazy, but I had a feeling he was important... The entire situation with Kaezik is just insane, as well...

Seriously, "Tell me you love me," sends shivers down my spine. Just thinking about it does, even though it wasn't really mentioned in this chapter. But, uh, Ikeda needs to do just that to Shanza. Which makes me nervous for the whole crew, because if Sherak and Dezra all think they're in Nera... Whoo. Once Ikeda finds out what happened to his brother, and likewise - it'll be bad.

And Riga...

But Holy Gobstoppers - Shumba's thought process makes me keel over laughing. Just jump Ryuune already! Shanza will give you his blessing, Shumba, jeez! Although, this line:

Especially when they were directed at such a young brother of his charge and benefactor, who had a history of tipping over the brink of sanity when seeking vengeance."

Made me laugh so hard. Oh my gosh, if Shanza heard him say that...

I love it, Inky, I do. You had better make good on your promise to not let it go for more than a year again! And e-mail sometime, would you? ^_^
8/22/2008 c27 NLP
Yay for updates! ::grins:: I'm really glad this story's not dead. And yes, this chapter certainly resolved most of the issues I had with the relationship. They seem healthier now, as people, and it makes me very very happy. Also, I'm really really curious as to why there was a wave of heat in the backlash from trying to heal Kaezik's eyes this chapter- was it the dragon fire, or something to do with his own strangeness? Phoenix-related things, for instance...?
8/22/2008 c27 3gypsy madamme
so i was shocked out of my mind to see an update in my inbox for this story. i honestly thought you'd had enough of it. well good chapter as always but kinda slow although that could be because the update was so long in coming. alright i'm struggling to find something to say. i seem to ave lost some enthusiasm for this, sorry. i still want to see riga again so all is not lost. see ya.
8/21/2008 c27 5Hikaru Kosuzaku
*sighs exasperatedly* Well, it's about time. It only took you a year *cough* or more, this BUT: this was an amazing chapter. My only misgivings are the lack of Kaezik (who didn't have nearly enough time) and of Riga. *rolls eyes* And if he doesn't show up by chapter 29, I'm sending out my cyber-ducks to hunt you down.

Loves to you and yours, Inky. You've made my day.
8/21/2008 c27 Nikerymis
::flails at you:: (Also, far, far too lazy to try and come up with my FP password.)

::flails at you s'more:: Shumba and Ryunne! They make my heart hurt, gah. Though I totally understand Shumba's reasoning. Fifteen is young. You'd think that, given their harsh environment and the very likely shorter life spans, that Ryunne's age at fifteen wouldn't really be that much of a deal-breaker. I'd think it would be more that he's the "Serpent's brother" that dissuaded Shumba. That said, it's good they're going back. ^_^ I have no doubt that'll be an interesting reunion, and now I'm super curious about the dragon (the animal, not Ikeda ^_~). Who would be able to control a dragon to make it attack Ikeda? And who would be able to arrange it so that Shumba was out of the way? And the stealing of the eyes bodes badly for Shanza (because I'm sure you didn't throw that in there for your health).

Speaking of Shanza... damn that was courageous of him. And compelling too. ^_^ Also, progress! They got all the way naked! ::beams:: Even if Ikeda didn't have the energy to take advantage of it. That will change, though I wonder what occasion is actually going to prompt them to say those three little words out loud rather than thinking them vehemently at each other.

Kaezik... good lord woman, you're driving me nuts with him. Wounds that a healer can't touch? A mysterious pirate healer who looks uncannily like Shumba? Nera is where they determine who comprises the Serpent, Phoenix, Dragon, and Lion, correct? I can't really recall, but I'm sure it's mentioned somewhere for me to find as I re-read.

And really, that's just the tip of the iceburg. ^_^ I am super-ultra pleased that you updated! ::glomps:: Good to see college isn't totally consuming your soul (just most of it?).
8/21/2008 c27 4Awe


XD Heh, Shanza going from numb, to miserable, to ANGRY in the space of a few paragraphs was awesome. And it was great to see how Shanza grew to be able to do that-you know, not just stay in the miserable stage.

*bonks Ikeda on the head* You are being dumb. Every action so FAR has been disgust? Um. So? This is Shanza, who is not every else. You said so yourself, Ikeda, when you were talking to Viya all those ages-I mean weeks- ago. Also, the fact that he's your partner and reacting well? Er, that's sort of really important BECAUSE he's your partner. Dummy.

(I think the bit about taming the "very fires of the sun" is just a tad over-dramatic though, perhaps?)

Shanza /would/ be mortified XD XD (I like the transition there)

Kaezik drama oh no! And Sherak I like, I think, though is he Shumba's friend then, or brother? Because of the looks...eh. What mark does Sherak have that makes him stand out-ish a bit, I wonder. Hmhmhm...

About the part where Shumba is observing Ryunne and his, ah, placement, I think 'curled' might not be the right word. An entire body can be curled, but just a leg? Draped was good, but you used it already. Let's see...what about 'splayed'? Or something...hrm. Also, poor Shumba. Also, I think I might have to record Ryunne's wake-up conversation with Shumba for you. To share, maybe, even.

"Shumba made an interesting garbled noise, as if he's swallowed a duck" As if HE'D swallowed a duck, maybe?

And d'aw they are so awkwardly cute. I must say though, Shumba's all worried about being the pervert wanting the 15-year-old, but what about all of US, who WANT them to finally get together? XD; we are all at least just as bad!

In short, SHUMBA AND RYUNE. And, you know, er, everyone else.

Talk to you soon! Maybe! XP
8/21/2008 c27 Lazycat
i adore this story, even if your updates are so far apart you'd think the story was dead, though you do warn us in your profile about that so...its ok, ill follow however long you take to see the end of this

i loved the update btw

hoping for a little more action out of the boys but its good to build up the suspense
7/13/2008 c26 4overlordpotatoe
Review time is now!

This story was... wow. I love it. You have some fantastic characters. I have to say, Shumba is my favourite - more so now, with Ryunne. They're a cute couple, even if it does make Shumba just a bit of a pedo. Plus I like the whole healer thing.

I think you've done a fantastic job of balancing out the relationship with Shanza and Ikeda. I like how, though Ikeda is this big, tough, dominant guy, Shanza is the one with the real power, when it comes down to it. Though they do seem to spend about equal amounts of time saving each other's asses.

When are those two gonna get each other naked! I just read 350,0 words of slash and there wasn't one sex scene. There seriously better be one, eventually. Because it's just cruel otherwise. To us, and to your poor, horny characters. *Checks rating*. T for teen? My hopes for super hot graphic mansex are dwindling.

The only real consistent error I've noticed is sometimes you forget spaces between words (likethis).

I looked at some of your fanart! And that commissioned picture was incredible. And that one of Shumba... oh, hey, it says it's by The Inkslinger, which is you. Does it count as fanart if it's done by the author? Anyway, I really like that one.

All your characters are fabulous, and you're doing a great job of balancing all the different storylines you've got going on. It never gets confusing or jumbled up, which is quite an achievement with so many characters and such a long piece. It's easy to keep the whole thing sorted out in your head, and you don't leave one storyline or focus on one for too long.

Are you planning on getting this published eventually?
7/12/2008 c26 kepteinen
Oh. My. God.

I'm extremely.. frenzied right now. Really. I was on the verge of crying with that Kaezik-episode last chapter(I'm too lazy to review that one too, sorry!) and Ikeda and Shumba is just making me frustrated beyond measure. Like, dsnmgwsmklds-frustrated. (Pushing random buttons on the keyboard is a wonderful way of releasing aggresion.) This story is the only thing that has saved me from complete isolation from civilization; I have to use my cellphone to get Internet, and seeing as that is incredibly pricy, I cannot thank you enough for your long chapters.

Update soon, right? (This is a need in every review. Sorry if I seem annoying.)

Krish, me wantz moar. I'll be occupied with Mina in Blue's fanfiction for a few hours, but that is not nearly enough.

Constructive critism WILL come, eventually. At the next chapter, probably, since I'm too annoyed to look 26 over again.

A cookie for you and your awesome writing skills.

Me iz outz.
6/15/2008 c26 3Bellum Cruor
Ok listen lady! : ) I’ve been really patiently awaiting this update. You’re waging it in front of my face like a bone to a dog is not kool. Now if I may have my little tantrum “I want my update and I want my update now!” But seriously you’ve written a really terrific story here and I’ve been following it for some time now (ever since 06) I really would like to see how it ends. So If you can placate my inner bibliophile sooner rather than later it will be you friend for life. : )
3/24/2008 c1 abbybyrd
Slow? Lol actually I think this is moving too fast! I think some parts could've been fleshed out a bit more. Zethus' character, for example, his suspicion of Shanza could've been more drawn out, and I'm not sure it's very realistic of him to trust Shanza so quickly. But thats just a suggestion. It looks like this story is quite far along by now and so you probably have it all planned out.

Anywho, apart from that, I am loving the story so far! I really like Shanza already! He is so pretty in my head :) I can't wait until he meets "The Dragon."
2/28/2008 c26 Akiru-chan
I really love this story, and I'd just like to let you know I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
12/19/2007 c26 zoule
So many things are happening and you haven't updated in so long :( I think I may friend you on livejournal just for your stories (the sad thing is, the only reason I have a livejournal is to keep up with my fictionpress/fanfiction favorite authors...)
12/18/2007 c24 pink raine
holy mother of god. i can't beleive i missed this the first three times around i read ths chapter. the thing with the odd herb turning eyes brown and impairing vision and the fact that ryunne is using it. i feel so dense. i was rereading my fave chaps in this story since certain ppl won't update their stories ahem hint hint.
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