
6/22/2006 c4 Jstar888
The way youre approaching the story this time around is better; more realistic. There is a big improvement evident already and i am excited to see how differently it will play out. Great job.
The way youre approaching the story this time around is better; more realistic. There is a big improvement evident already and i am excited to see how differently it will play out. Great job.
4/27/2006 c3 Jstar888
Very good. Its written with an awkward elegance that works wonderously for the content. Update please... for my sake.
Very good. Its written with an awkward elegance that works wonderously for the content. Update please... for my sake.
6/25/2005 c2 a waiting fan
I've read both this and its ff.net counterpart. I've been waiting for you to update. I do hope you do. You're a great writer. Please continue
I've read both this and its ff.net counterpart. I've been waiting for you to update. I do hope you do. You're a great writer. Please continue
3/20/2005 c1 just li'l ol' me
why aren't you updating this? why? i NEED more.
why aren't you updating this? why? i NEED more.
11/12/2004 c2 Rilla1989
Hey, I read your story on FanFiction. Is this going to be like that, are they DD in this story?
Looks good, I loved the other one, can't wait to see what happend before!
-Rilla
Hey, I read your story on FanFiction. Is this going to be like that, are they DD in this story?
Looks good, I loved the other one, can't wait to see what happend before!
-Rilla
4/5/2004 c2
32Mackenzie Anderson
Very interesting. I especially liked the shorts of the first chapter. It'll help the reader understand your characters better later on. The first chapter was good; there is a lot of insight. Well written. I hope to see more soon.

Very interesting. I especially liked the shorts of the first chapter. It'll help the reader understand your characters better later on. The first chapter was good; there is a lot of insight. Well written. I hope to see more soon.
3/29/2004 c1
34Britani. G. Simone
This is so raw and full of emotion. It's really good and I hope you continue with it. I really like the way that you change from each character and show us what's happening to each of them at the same time. Good stuff!

This is so raw and full of emotion. It's really good and I hope you continue with it. I really like the way that you change from each character and show us what's happening to each of them at the same time. Good stuff!
3/28/2004 c2
2objectivity
haha, i was just thinking about this specific fanfic a couple of days ago [in wonder if you were actaully going to update]..guess that proves i'm a seer...*joking* aniwayz, this chapter seems pretty good, with all the adjustments here and there...and the many other characters that i'm not familiar with. but that's life isn't it? Explore Dream Discover ( One of Mark Twain's quotes) hmmz, i think i'm getting off track now =]~ GREAT chapter and contin-u so0n ^-^
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flipstahhz was here `04

haha, i was just thinking about this specific fanfic a couple of days ago [in wonder if you were actaully going to update]..guess that proves i'm a seer...*joking* aniwayz, this chapter seems pretty good, with all the adjustments here and there...and the many other characters that i'm not familiar with. but that's life isn't it? Explore Dream Discover ( One of Mark Twain's quotes) hmmz, i think i'm getting off track now =]~ GREAT chapter and contin-u so0n ^-^
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flipstahhz was here `04
2/19/2004 c1 confusedazngurl637
yay! hehehe more of 'broken'! maybe its because im so naive that i like it so much... but i dunno its great though!
yay! hehehe more of 'broken'! maybe its because im so naive that i like it so much... but i dunno its great though!
2/7/2004 c1
27aspenjerome
Pretty good - you've locked in on some effective ways to spin old situations. I like that. Each segment has its own tone, weight and power. The question is, when and where these intersect, how do you meld these tones together to make a compelling drama? You've chosen third person, which could make it interesting - and tough - to choose a voice that governs them all. In this contained universe, though, you opened with a bang. Many of your peers can't even rise to that. Good work!

Pretty good - you've locked in on some effective ways to spin old situations. I like that. Each segment has its own tone, weight and power. The question is, when and where these intersect, how do you meld these tones together to make a compelling drama? You've chosen third person, which could make it interesting - and tough - to choose a voice that governs them all. In this contained universe, though, you opened with a bang. Many of your peers can't even rise to that. Good work!
2/5/2004 c1
2Riley Elliot
yay! i've been looking forward to this for a long, long time. and now i'm looking forward to the next chapter. :)

yay! i've been looking forward to this for a long, long time. and now i'm looking forward to the next chapter. :)
2/2/2004 c1
149phthalo blue
It's amazing how you can make such a small chapter still just as emotional as the rest. I can't wait for the rest.

It's amazing how you can make such a small chapter still just as emotional as the rest. I can't wait for the rest.
2/1/2004 c1
2objectivity
I don't usually go on this account...but i couldn't really help myself but r and r this =]] It's a nice start and it's also quite interesting to see their side of the story. By the way, thanks for the email that you updated...I'll be reading the other version of broken now =.[ can't believe it's almost over...anyway, i'd better go. Please update story soon!

I don't usually go on this account...but i couldn't really help myself but r and r this =]] It's a nice start and it's also quite interesting to see their side of the story. By the way, thanks for the email that you updated...I'll be reading the other version of broken now =.[ can't believe it's almost over...anyway, i'd better go. Please update story soon!