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11/20/2004 c10 90poetic abortion
Please update ! This is really good !

~ Noelle ~
6/13/2004 c10 26Endless Nightmares
Hello- I think it was kind of funny when there was a a party at Mike's, and it had hard lemonade. Mike's Hard Lemonade, lmao. I feel stupid, but I thought I would point that humour out.
5/24/2004 c9 Eloise G. Hariet
"Tyler walked into the cheap ass restaurant that served retched food that he only ate because it was cheap. The bathrooms were incredibly filthy with shit stains on the toilets that could very possibly date all the way back to the 70s. The kitchen was greasy as all fuck, and the waiters and waitresses were annoyingly cocky at best. Well, the waiters and waitresses that had been there for more than a single day anyway."
Um, I'm sorry, but since when has the word fuck been a noun? Judging by certain portions of your writing and the paragraph that this was in, I'm suspecting that you're trying to keep your writing style very similar if not the same as Stephen King. Well, sorry again, but it's not working - the parts such as the one I have just pasted don't really fit in with the rest of your writing. Your writing is tremendously exceptional beyond anything I've seen at the parts when you don't do thing like what I've just excerpted above, but when you do use that, it's like you're trying to be something you're not. Stop that, and keep your OWN writing voice, because even by just looking at this story, I can see a bright future for your writing.
5/5/2004 c9 p-esc
Hmm...This story is good so far, but it needs more detail. The chapters are far too short - one thousand words really isn't that long. Other than that, I see no problems at all with your writing. Good stuff!
5/3/2004 c1 p-esc
Hmm, looks interesting so far! While you could be a little more detailed and eloquent with your writing, you seem to have highly creative ideas, in addition to interesting similes - the one about chewing gum and lukewarm water was highly unusual, but the kind of thing that nearly everyone can relate to. I like also how you've decided to tell this story from a maniac's point of view...it's very different, and should be quite entertaining. I'll read more of this and your other work another time, since it's getting late and I have school tomorrow. Great job, and keep writing!
4/27/2004 c9 Endless Nightmares
Hello-
Yes, people have become sucked away from the computer because of school, but I haven't. This is formatted differently, trying spacing each sentence out with the spacebar., that could be the problem. Click on the beginning of each word of each sentence, and press the spacebar a few times, maybe you have done this before, but I am just trying to help.
Oh well, I'm sure it will be fine for the next chapter.
4/26/2004 c9 22MorbidMan
Okay, I know I know. It's pathetic to review your own story, but my computer is being a pain. On Chapter 9 I am requesting that you check out w.fanfiction.net/~morbidman. The format for my writing won't allow me to put that up on the internet. Read my author's note on C.9 for the rest of it.
4/26/2004 c9 17SuperGill
hey this is great. it was kind of cool to see how your writing improved with each update. you started to show better thought processes and descriptions. what's your other site? anyway, update soon. this is good. i liked the flashback. it kind of gave the story a whole other point of view.
~~sg
4/4/2004 c1 2Jack-The-Ripper-Scotland
I love the stuff that you write. You have talent, use it!
3/28/2004 c1 yo-man
Good opener, but like I am the maniac and I've been watching you in Hawkoner, NY. Yeah, that's right I know your School dude, and I'm reading your stories, pondering in my dark, dank, murky lair how I should introduce my weaponry to your soul...
*smile*
I just bought some ninja weapons, and until my mom finds them, I am a NINJA. Like for real dude, a ninja. Everyone at my school broke out into song and dance when I read your story to them. The stopped doing TOAD and everything was well again...
Yeah, now you know, I AM WATCHING YOU. So be nice to my dog, dude. No abuse please!
Live from MA!
Peace!
3/22/2004 c8 26Endless Nightmares
Heh-
Ace Ventura Pet Detective heh, just watched that the other day. Still a funny movie.
The only thing I wish is for you to do is write more for your chapters. For us to read more.
3/12/2004 c7 Endless Nightmares
Hello-
Short, but really good so far.
3/10/2004 c7 22MorbidMan
Hey, I'd like to thank all of my reviewers! I'll thank them by name next chapter. Thanks guys!
3/7/2004 c7 6JPWords
This is an awesome story. I can't wait for you to review it. I posted another chapter for The Mansion, so check it out. You are an official part of my favorites list. Keep up the awesome work. Laterz. As for your question, MY Dream, MY nightmare is loosely based on personal expierence.
2/29/2004 c6 75Fast Food Fantasy
Yes! The Shining is an awesome movie. Anyways, onto the chapter. Kate seems like an odd character. Very not cautious? I know that there's a word for it but I'm too tired to think of it.
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