2/15/2004 c1 natmarie
Hey hun, this is like a super great new story, and wow that first chapter thingy was long...unless *gasp* that wasn't the whole thing was it? They are so cute together, sarcastic and such, and you have such a way with words, hmm..hope you update this soon, it has won a spot on my faves list. Check out my stuff if you get a chance.
Gnat
Hey hun, this is like a super great new story, and wow that first chapter thingy was long...unless *gasp* that wasn't the whole thing was it? They are so cute together, sarcastic and such, and you have such a way with words, hmm..hope you update this soon, it has won a spot on my faves list. Check out my stuff if you get a chance.
Gnat
2/5/2004 c1 8InsaneOleander
I'm going to be completely honest in this review. So far, I think the story is ok. I thought that in the begininng, you were trying too hard to make Trinity seem like she hated the world, with all the sunshine is evil, and everyone else in the world is evil and stuff... I also thought that the story got slightly repetitive and there was nothing really new in it... Aris and her meet, they get mad at each other, and then she leaves. And that just happens over and over again in different settings. Also, she hasn't known him for too long and already they're falling for each other? The one part that I really like was the first conversation between Aris and Trinity. That caught my attention because I thought it was funny. ^^
I think that the story itself is well-written and I enjoyed the descriptions in it. With a few minor adjustments it would be great! But I still like it now...^^ and btw..nice job on making one chapter so long!
I'm going to be completely honest in this review. So far, I think the story is ok. I thought that in the begininng, you were trying too hard to make Trinity seem like she hated the world, with all the sunshine is evil, and everyone else in the world is evil and stuff... I also thought that the story got slightly repetitive and there was nothing really new in it... Aris and her meet, they get mad at each other, and then she leaves. And that just happens over and over again in different settings. Also, she hasn't known him for too long and already they're falling for each other? The one part that I really like was the first conversation between Aris and Trinity. That caught my attention because I thought it was funny. ^^
I think that the story itself is well-written and I enjoyed the descriptions in it. With a few minor adjustments it would be great! But I still like it now...^^ and btw..nice job on making one chapter so long!