for Trail of Tears2/27/2004 c1 
217MistrissD
This is so well written. Especially if you wrote it in an uber short time ^.~ but sometimes those poems are the best. I love the capitalization in the begining and the last line, very powerful
217MistrissDThis is so well written. Especially if you wrote it in an uber short time ^.~ but sometimes those poems are the best. I love the capitalization in the begining and the last line, very powerful
2/23/2004 c1 45Grendel
Strong! Very strong, I have no words to describe, the way you wrote it was just great, the whole poem is perfect.
45GrendelStrong! Very strong, I have no words to describe, the way you wrote it was just great, the whole poem is perfect.
2/8/2004 c1 wetzel
may I point out the incorrect usage of the word "taught"
Used in this form, it is the past tense of "teach"
The correct word is "taut" meaning pulled tight. (:-P)
I enjoyed your rhythm, the length and speed of the piece is easily understood. I think you should stick to the bed and dead rhyme trend instead of having a definite rhyme in the second to last stanza. The C sound is overpowering. Perhaps try lengthening the line "I'll never understand this place" or "And oh the selfish white man race?" so that it fits with the first line of that stanza.
may I point out the incorrect usage of the word "taught"
Used in this form, it is the past tense of "teach"
The correct word is "taut" meaning pulled tight. (:-P)
I enjoyed your rhythm, the length and speed of the piece is easily understood. I think you should stick to the bed and dead rhyme trend instead of having a definite rhyme in the second to last stanza. The C sound is overpowering. Perhaps try lengthening the line "I'll never understand this place" or "And oh the selfish white man race?" so that it fits with the first line of that stanza.
2/7/2004 c1 169Siberia82
*claps hands* It's difficult to find good war-related poems, but your is definitely one of them, even if you wrote it at the last minute. The format was so original, and it was very poignant view of the Aboriginal people's suffering at the hand of European colonists. I was very touched. Two thumbs up! b^_^d
Would you consider reading "Empty"? I'd like to hear from you. Please? :)
169Siberia82*claps hands* It's difficult to find good war-related poems, but your is definitely one of them, even if you wrote it at the last minute. The format was so original, and it was very poignant view of the Aboriginal people's suffering at the hand of European colonists. I was very touched. Two thumbs up! b^_^d
Would you consider reading "Empty"? I'd like to hear from you. Please? :)