for Extended Lufians8/29/2004 c8 
64not sure yet
aw, i think this is adorable, the title is excellent, and well, that line too in the poem, muchly love it, love the fourth to last stanza the best, good job
64not sure yetaw, i think this is adorable, the title is excellent, and well, that line too in the poem, muchly love it, love the fourth to last stanza the best, good job
8/29/2004 c7 not sure yet
interesting, that whole read it different ways thing was muchly fun and kinda twisted it around, very sweet as well, muchly awesome, good job
interesting, that whole read it different ways thing was muchly fun and kinda twisted it around, very sweet as well, muchly awesome, good job
8/7/2004 c8 Cursive and Print
another awesome job... you're so good at this. lol, keep up the awesome work, huh? and try to update this again... soon? no, i'm just kidding... i know that poetic muses are fickle. lol... keep up the good work!
another awesome job... you're so good at this. lol, keep up the awesome work, huh? and try to update this again... soon? no, i'm just kidding... i know that poetic muses are fickle. lol... keep up the good work!
8/1/2004 c2 98hurtmushroom
sure it's hard writing an haiku - but you're so good at it! really, loved it. Though i must admit, i didn't really get it...okay, it's late and i'm tired and all ;) (lame excuse...)
98hurtmushroomsure it's hard writing an haiku - but you're so good at it! really, loved it. Though i must admit, i didn't really get it...okay, it's late and i'm tired and all ;) (lame excuse...)
7/11/2004 c8 artemis astralstar
The link wouldn't work last night, but here it is! Whee! *hugs*
~
This is an incredibly strange poem. *reads again* Very different to most of your others. I like the idea of the title, but sadly, I can't really appreciate the flippancy of the words, although they seem as if they shouldn't be. INteresting, but, I'm biased, so ignore my review entirely. I'm just happy you're alive! *hugs*
The link wouldn't work last night, but here it is! Whee! *hugs*
~
This is an incredibly strange poem. *reads again* Very different to most of your others. I like the idea of the title, but sadly, I can't really appreciate the flippancy of the words, although they seem as if they shouldn't be. INteresting, but, I'm biased, so ignore my review entirely. I'm just happy you're alive! *hugs*
7/9/2004 c8 56AsianScaper
Well, the bad news first. Here are a few things I think you should have a look at: some descriptions are a bit 'off', such as 'poignant curves': this is a statement of the obvious and though it does add to the quality of the rhythm, i'm doubtful as to the image it conjures. Oh, and a spelling error here (very minor one, though done incessantly, myself included): 'Its warped...' should be 'It's warped'. 'Its' is possessive; 'it's' stands for 'it is'. There, just a tip. :) Be very careful with your choice of words. Sometimes, we have a tendency to create something the audience cannot understand, much less be familiar with, a sense of 'what is she/he talking about?'. Don't worry; though the road to perfection is long, it is more than rewarding to follow it.
I especially loved the line 'I'm in a hell not covered by text books / You're taught: you die, hell follows...' For some reason, it describes both our demise so thoroughly. Loved it! I hope you continue making such ingenious lines! And do keep writing. I look forward to more of your work. And you contemporary was right about the 'I miss you' hitting it right on the nail. It wasn't at all out of place.
Good luck, good friend! And thank you for spending time reading and reviewing my work. Always a pleasure to hear from fellow poets.
56AsianScaperWell, the bad news first. Here are a few things I think you should have a look at: some descriptions are a bit 'off', such as 'poignant curves': this is a statement of the obvious and though it does add to the quality of the rhythm, i'm doubtful as to the image it conjures. Oh, and a spelling error here (very minor one, though done incessantly, myself included): 'Its warped...' should be 'It's warped'. 'Its' is possessive; 'it's' stands for 'it is'. There, just a tip. :) Be very careful with your choice of words. Sometimes, we have a tendency to create something the audience cannot understand, much less be familiar with, a sense of 'what is she/he talking about?'. Don't worry; though the road to perfection is long, it is more than rewarding to follow it.
I especially loved the line 'I'm in a hell not covered by text books / You're taught: you die, hell follows...' For some reason, it describes both our demise so thoroughly. Loved it! I hope you continue making such ingenious lines! And do keep writing. I look forward to more of your work. And you contemporary was right about the 'I miss you' hitting it right on the nail. It wasn't at all out of place.
Good luck, good friend! And thank you for spending time reading and reviewing my work. Always a pleasure to hear from fellow poets.
7/9/2004 c8 8glitterjewele
O_O
*stares dumbstruck for many, many minutes*
surprise indeed. utter jaw-dropping shock, more like! lol omg chica, wow. WOW. like, uber wow. if ever a lufian knocked me off my feet and left me sockless . . . it's just . . . so . . . good. all of it, naturally, but i have to say, the third stanza in particular left me with a knife in my heart, i mean seriously:
"for if you come back, and i'm gone . . .
this pain, this pain i wish on no one"
*goes into arrested rapture for like, the twelfth time in the past seven minutes* and damn chica, waddaya mean "'i miss you' doesn't cover it"? that was bloody PERFECT! one of those simple statements that sums up infinity, if you know what i mean, eh? oh and also, loved the "tears need a purpose" line, t'was quite poignant. anyway, i absolutely adore it. *looks over shoulder at sahara weeping uncharacteristically* wa-la, a testament to your emotion-kindling powers, if ever i saw one. *sahara fumes but admits with much grudgingness that i'm right* ;). AWESOME piece chica, such a phenomenal update. infinite upon infinite kudos!
8glitterjeweleO_O
*stares dumbstruck for many, many minutes*
surprise indeed. utter jaw-dropping shock, more like! lol omg chica, wow. WOW. like, uber wow. if ever a lufian knocked me off my feet and left me sockless . . . it's just . . . so . . . good. all of it, naturally, but i have to say, the third stanza in particular left me with a knife in my heart, i mean seriously:
"for if you come back, and i'm gone . . .
this pain, this pain i wish on no one"
*goes into arrested rapture for like, the twelfth time in the past seven minutes* and damn chica, waddaya mean "'i miss you' doesn't cover it"? that was bloody PERFECT! one of those simple statements that sums up infinity, if you know what i mean, eh? oh and also, loved the "tears need a purpose" line, t'was quite poignant. anyway, i absolutely adore it. *looks over shoulder at sahara weeping uncharacteristically* wa-la, a testament to your emotion-kindling powers, if ever i saw one. *sahara fumes but admits with much grudgingness that i'm right* ;). AWESOME piece chica, such a phenomenal update. infinite upon infinite kudos!
7/8/2004 c7 56AsianScaper
It is loss that makes us bend to the day. And soft words that allow us to stand through its infirmity. It is in love that we find the most bitter taste and yet the sweetest on the lips, on eyes, and in the confines of the heart. I enjoyed your extended lufians and will have more lufians myself. (My, delicious!) This is a wonderful series, and please update again soon. I especially like the idea of writing in free verse, as I often think it is more of a challenge than the classical one (at least, for myself) and I appreciate your unique take on love. It is often refreshing and never dull. You've filled love's definition with more dimension than expected. The poems, especially the seventh, have an almost surreal quality and images that are tangible enough to touch. I hope you have more unique thoughts for us in the near future.
And sappiness is a good, romantic quality. Continue writing and I hope to read more from you!
56AsianScaperIt is loss that makes us bend to the day. And soft words that allow us to stand through its infirmity. It is in love that we find the most bitter taste and yet the sweetest on the lips, on eyes, and in the confines of the heart. I enjoyed your extended lufians and will have more lufians myself. (My, delicious!) This is a wonderful series, and please update again soon. I especially like the idea of writing in free verse, as I often think it is more of a challenge than the classical one (at least, for myself) and I appreciate your unique take on love. It is often refreshing and never dull. You've filled love's definition with more dimension than expected. The poems, especially the seventh, have an almost surreal quality and images that are tangible enough to touch. I hope you have more unique thoughts for us in the near future.
And sappiness is a good, romantic quality. Continue writing and I hope to read more from you!
6/9/2004 c6 64not sure yet
wow...that was incredibly sappy and romantic...i LOVE it, ahahahahah, about sex too, can never go wrong there, heh, muchly excellent job
64not sure yetwow...that was incredibly sappy and romantic...i LOVE it, ahahahahah, about sex too, can never go wrong there, heh, muchly excellent job
6/8/2004 c7 artemis astralstar
oh how I hate ANs telling me how to interpret work. poetry is not something that can be dictated. Not that this is a particularly good example of that, no, for the master of that, go to Shinco. *kicks stupid guilt-tripping 'poet'* It was considerate of you to give us the memo.
~
but anyway...
*read poem*
I like it. I really love the line which says, "Recite your sins within my eyes" Purely for the imagery there. Magnifico! I see the contrast too, strangely enough. Interesting ideas, and true to life too. God, I have to update! I have to write something! *scurries off*
Nice work though.
oh how I hate ANs telling me how to interpret work. poetry is not something that can be dictated. Not that this is a particularly good example of that, no, for the master of that, go to Shinco. *kicks stupid guilt-tripping 'poet'* It was considerate of you to give us the memo.
~
but anyway...
*read poem*
I like it. I really love the line which says, "Recite your sins within my eyes" Purely for the imagery there. Magnifico! I see the contrast too, strangely enough. Interesting ideas, and true to life too. God, I have to update! I have to write something! *scurries off*
Nice work though.
6/8/2004 c7 Cursive and Print
"Your effect will never fade"
I don't know how you can manage to make little phrases take on so much meaning but you do it beautifully. You're an amazing poet. This was great. I loved the new style. i read all of the lines to get the full effect of it. it was amazing. you're right there was a great contrast. it's so cool that you can write about love without being *in love*. yeah... i'm not so good at that. lol. anyways, this was brilliant. my favorite two lines? (i know you didn't ask but i'm going to tell you anyways. lol)"And sew your apologies in this barren ground
I'll savor your every word"
Yeah. brilliant. excellent job! keep writing!
"Your effect will never fade"
I don't know how you can manage to make little phrases take on so much meaning but you do it beautifully. You're an amazing poet. This was great. I loved the new style. i read all of the lines to get the full effect of it. it was amazing. you're right there was a great contrast. it's so cool that you can write about love without being *in love*. yeah... i'm not so good at that. lol. anyways, this was brilliant. my favorite two lines? (i know you didn't ask but i'm going to tell you anyways. lol)"And sew your apologies in this barren ground
I'll savor your every word"
Yeah. brilliant. excellent job! keep writing!
6/7/2004 c7 8glitterjewele
*applause* woot! *does the lufian update dance* so sorry i didn't review this yesterday, chica ~ i was swamped with studying and essay-writing *grr*. but wow, such a fabulous quote to work with, and such a fabulous result! i, for one, absolutely loved the effect of the intermingled italicized and non-italicized lines ~ 'twas both visually and audio-ly (lol wow i'm braindead right now) intriguing. definitely loved the progression of the non-italicized lines with regards to the speaker's realization about the relationship. also, omg, such amazing imagery in the beginning . . . "and sew your apologies in this barren ground" ~ just so awesome, i was blown away. amazing addition to ze amazing collection, chica, loved it muchly! kudos! ! :D
8glitterjewele*applause* woot! *does the lufian update dance* so sorry i didn't review this yesterday, chica ~ i was swamped with studying and essay-writing *grr*. but wow, such a fabulous quote to work with, and such a fabulous result! i, for one, absolutely loved the effect of the intermingled italicized and non-italicized lines ~ 'twas both visually and audio-ly (lol wow i'm braindead right now) intriguing. definitely loved the progression of the non-italicized lines with regards to the speaker's realization about the relationship. also, omg, such amazing imagery in the beginning . . . "and sew your apologies in this barren ground" ~ just so awesome, i was blown away. amazing addition to ze amazing collection, chica, loved it muchly! kudos! ! :D
6/7/2004 c7 acccountkiller
Hey! First of all very sorry I couldn't read this earlier but my silly computer broke and I couldn't do anything on all the others so...here I am, two days late. :D. This is really cute! It's sweet...I especially like the phrase 'For my reality was born of the unforgiving' that's really very...gah...I'm at loss for words! The italicized bits aren't really ...you, lol, but the normal parts are certainly very beautiful, just like everything you write! Anyway, ttyl! Love, Mia
Hey! First of all very sorry I couldn't read this earlier but my silly computer broke and I couldn't do anything on all the others so...here I am, two days late. :D. This is really cute! It's sweet...I especially like the phrase 'For my reality was born of the unforgiving' that's really very...gah...I'm at loss for words! The italicized bits aren't really ...you, lol, but the normal parts are certainly very beautiful, just like everything you write! Anyway, ttyl! Love, Mia