for OLD Ashes to Isis7/3/2008 c1 
15Lorki
Aw this was nice, I sort of like the shortness of the chapter, I like the way Max talks and the way you described the slave master guy. It might help to maybe describe her life as a slave to help understand why Max feels bad for her etc.
-Lorki
15LorkiAw this was nice, I sort of like the shortness of the chapter, I like the way Max talks and the way you described the slave master guy. It might help to maybe describe her life as a slave to help understand why Max feels bad for her etc.
-Lorki
5/21/2004 c2 4Alliekatze
Very interesting storyline you have here! Can't wait to see what happens next. Write more! =^_^=
4AlliekatzeVery interesting storyline you have here! Can't wait to see what happens next. Write more! =^_^=
4/15/2004 c1 Dark Lord Ven
Instead of introducing Maxwell in the first paragraph as the mote who likes to get drunk and watch girls, have him explain that to Rat as his introduction to her.
Instead of introducing Maxwell in the first paragraph as the mote who likes to get drunk and watch girls, have him explain that to Rat as his introduction to her.
4/3/2004 c2 132mizu no kokoro
^_^ it has some weird parts, some funny parts, but it's humour ain't it? haha! continue continue~
132mizu no kokoro^_^ it has some weird parts, some funny parts, but it's humour ain't it? haha! continue continue~
4/3/2004 c1 mizu no kokoro
hmm... must be a coming trend for characters to be named after animals huh? ^^ no that its bad. quite a short chapter though
hmm... must be a coming trend for characters to be named after animals huh? ^^ no that its bad. quite a short chapter though
2/16/2004 c2 1A Chroi
Hee hee...I like it. A lot. Max is funny. Kind of ecletic, but very amusing. This is a really interesting story, and I can't wait to see where it goes. Update! Please...?
1A ChroiHee hee...I like it. A lot. Max is funny. Kind of ecletic, but very amusing. This is a really interesting story, and I can't wait to see where it goes. Update! Please...?
2/14/2004 c1 A Chroi
This is very amusing! I like it a lot; it will be very interesting to see how the plot develops. The characters are very well-created, and the story flows well. Please update soon!
This is very amusing! I like it a lot; it will be very interesting to see how the plot develops. The characters are very well-created, and the story flows well. Please update soon!