for Ever Growing8/7/2005 c1 Quelleruth
Wow. This is beautiful. And...I guess it is a little depressing, but still...wow.
Wow. This is beautiful. And...I guess it is a little depressing, but still...wow.
8/1/2005 c16 FantasizedMusic
This is one of the best instances in which I have seen you employ rich imagery, such as "the bars/Made of my mistakes" and "Chained to my failures". The description, particularly of the "robes of grace", is wonderful. One of your best, most emotional (and I would guess personal), pieces. Wonderful work.
This is one of the best instances in which I have seen you employ rich imagery, such as "the bars/Made of my mistakes" and "Chained to my failures". The description, particularly of the "robes of grace", is wonderful. One of your best, most emotional (and I would guess personal), pieces. Wonderful work.
8/1/2005 c17 FantasizedMusic
Nice opening twinge of "Long ago," stating to the reader that the speaker once understood, but has lost that knowledge and belief along the way. Two standout mentions and one suggestion. The sixth haiku set, "I danced in the rain," is an excellent refrasing of "I praised God even in the midst of the storms." Secondly, the turn at the seventh stanza was excellent. My one suggestion is to perhaps not wait such a long time for the turn, even in a piece written in haiku format. Nice message, good work; keep up the writing!
Nice opening twinge of "Long ago," stating to the reader that the speaker once understood, but has lost that knowledge and belief along the way. Two standout mentions and one suggestion. The sixth haiku set, "I danced in the rain," is an excellent refrasing of "I praised God even in the midst of the storms." Secondly, the turn at the seventh stanza was excellent. My one suggestion is to perhaps not wait such a long time for the turn, even in a piece written in haiku format. Nice message, good work; keep up the writing!
7/19/2005 c18 FantasizedMusic
I think what I got out of this poem was that only when we ask will we receive, because the narrator here is in deep pain and anguish and only when he/she asks the Lord does He answer. Not terribly deep, but inspirational all the same. Well crafted.
(One spelling note: change "strenth" into "strength.")
I think what I got out of this poem was that only when we ask will we receive, because the narrator here is in deep pain and anguish and only when he/she asks the Lord does He answer. Not terribly deep, but inspirational all the same. Well crafted.
(One spelling note: change "strenth" into "strength.")
7/19/2005 c19 FantasizedMusic
It's nice to see you stepping out of your poetic box, if you will, and trying new things (such as "The Man in the Cottage where you told a story through haiku). Rather than being Impressionistic, you've tested the waters of comedic work. The "nature punks" as you call them are nicely crafted. Good work!
It's nice to see you stepping out of your poetic box, if you will, and trying new things (such as "The Man in the Cottage where you told a story through haiku). Rather than being Impressionistic, you've tested the waters of comedic work. The "nature punks" as you call them are nicely crafted. Good work!
7/19/2005 c20 FantasizedMusic
Wow... you have truly improved, MASSIVELY, since the last time I read a haiku or poem of yours. I really enjoyed reading this. The tone was aptly chosen for the message you conveyed so accurately. It's very hard to write a story to a haiku set, but you have done a marvelous job with this. I truly applaud you on your fantastic improvment.
(By the way, I'm so glad you found my pen name and that you came back for reviews. They really encourage me and most of the reason that I came back to FictionPress is that it was a good deal of my inspiration for writing. God bless!)
Wow... you have truly improved, MASSIVELY, since the last time I read a haiku or poem of yours. I really enjoyed reading this. The tone was aptly chosen for the message you conveyed so accurately. It's very hard to write a story to a haiku set, but you have done a marvelous job with this. I truly applaud you on your fantastic improvment.
(By the way, I'm so glad you found my pen name and that you came back for reviews. They really encourage me and most of the reason that I came back to FictionPress is that it was a good deal of my inspiration for writing. God bless!)
7/17/2005 c14 
11ofbg
that was awesome. at first i thought it was a love poem, but it sorta is. so thanks.
11ofbgthat was awesome. at first i thought it was a love poem, but it sorta is. so thanks.
5/14/2005 c12 AlterEthereal
I've been reading through your haikus again. XD"I hate these windows"I adore that line. It's kind of unexpected, like a release of raw emotion, if you know what I mean, very refreshing and crisp, even though the poem is dark (actually, I rather like that about it, too).~AlterEthereal
I've been reading through your haikus again. XD"I hate these windows"I adore that line. It's kind of unexpected, like a release of raw emotion, if you know what I mean, very refreshing and crisp, even though the poem is dark (actually, I rather like that about it, too).~AlterEthereal
2/17/2005 c1 70elvenstorm
Wow that word is soo pretty and so is your poem! Love the images you use and how you put several haikus together to form one longer poem. Nice work!
70elvenstormWow that word is soo pretty and so is your poem! Love the images you use and how you put several haikus together to form one longer poem. Nice work!
2/11/2005 c19 148JJR Meerraf
sorry for... i don't know how late this review is, but i never forgot you, i always kept the email as new just never got around to reading it.
not my favorite piece, but ur work is always great, i liked how it related to your real life stories :)
great work my friend
148JJR Meerrafsorry for... i don't know how late this review is, but i never forgot you, i always kept the email as new just never got around to reading it.
not my favorite piece, but ur work is always great, i liked how it related to your real life stories :)
great work my friend
1/14/2005 c1 12Anray Jzitusia
I like this poem alot. It is really moving. This is a realing good poem.Keep Writing
12Anray JzitusiaI like this poem alot. It is really moving. This is a realing good poem.Keep Writing