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6/20/2006 c1 14H.M. Grey
This is really neat; you used great diction and imagery. I love the rawness of this- it isn't written roughly, but the train of thought is very concentrated and raw. VERY nice job.

By the way, thank you very much for your kind words on my story, "Shaved Ice." You boosted my confidence quite a bit, and reminded me that I wanted to continue it. Thanks!
2/24/2004 c1 6Miss W D Halliwell
its like the little bit of life they never tell you about, it would be good it you threw in an authors note to explain, its still a little confusing, but confusion is good as well, makes you think more and not enough people think anymore. Sparrow xx

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