for Barren Beauty3/9/2004 c1 
144Infinite Smiles
You did a wonderful job at capturing a characteristic of Truth. Well done. Very honest and creative poem.
144Infinite SmilesYou did a wonderful job at capturing a characteristic of Truth. Well done. Very honest and creative poem.
3/9/2004 c1 les yeux est parasseux
"Truth is a barren sort of beauty-
a cleanliness of form and line."
Would it be cheesy to say that the beauty of it is that those lines ring so true?
~lyv
"Truth is a barren sort of beauty-
a cleanliness of form and line."
Would it be cheesy to say that the beauty of it is that those lines ring so true?
~lyv
2/26/2004 c1 47PM20
Very nice, I like your use of nature elements and color. Thanks for the advice on Flowing Dream, I'm gonna re-work it and try to make it flow better. Review it again if ya get the chance.
47PM20Very nice, I like your use of nature elements and color. Thanks for the advice on Flowing Dream, I'm gonna re-work it and try to make it flow better. Review it again if ya get the chance.
2/25/2004 c1 53Lady Saleci Loramma
Simply beautiful. Every line offers another piece of imagery that is crafted which such skill that one can truly see it. Keep writing. -LSL
53Lady Saleci LorammaSimply beautiful. Every line offers another piece of imagery that is crafted which such skill that one can truly see it. Keep writing. -LSL
2/25/2004 c1 121Seeker of the Way
THIS is amazing. Not only that, but it is SO VERY CLOSE to being in a standard poetic structure! I would edit this a little more and you would have an even better poem! My style unfortunately leaves me little room for stansdard structure. BUt, what I would do first is to make every line the same line of syllables. The easiest way to do this would be to make them all eight, nine, or perhpas ten. For example, I would do "cast blue shadows onTO the snow" see? That also helps the meter! That is only 8, where as line 1 and line 9 are 9. I only see that almost rhyme of "snow" and "glow darkly", that is fine, no need to rhyme! I would also show it to a teacher . Actually, your profile does not give an age, but your writing makes me think you may be almost finished with college or long seen it pass. So, there you are! Beautifully poetic, with great meaning and visual descriptions. This reminds me of the kinds of poems I reaad in my college poetry class - good job!
121Seeker of the WayTHIS is amazing. Not only that, but it is SO VERY CLOSE to being in a standard poetic structure! I would edit this a little more and you would have an even better poem! My style unfortunately leaves me little room for stansdard structure. BUt, what I would do first is to make every line the same line of syllables. The easiest way to do this would be to make them all eight, nine, or perhpas ten. For example, I would do "cast blue shadows onTO the snow" see? That also helps the meter! That is only 8, where as line 1 and line 9 are 9. I only see that almost rhyme of "snow" and "glow darkly", that is fine, no need to rhyme! I would also show it to a teacher . Actually, your profile does not give an age, but your writing makes me think you may be almost finished with college or long seen it pass. So, there you are! Beautifully poetic, with great meaning and visual descriptions. This reminds me of the kinds of poems I reaad in my college poetry class - good job!