for Dead3/5/2004 c1 CW-nerd-12
Nice start. I'd combine the lines, make them longer. The short lines make it too choppy for all your strong images. Also, you have commander on two lines next to each other, and it doesn't work. I like it, anyway!
Nice start. I'd combine the lines, make them longer. The short lines make it too choppy for all your strong images. Also, you have commander on two lines next to each other, and it doesn't work. I like it, anyway!
3/5/2004 c1 
29Kiss-and-Die
It's good, real good, but there could have been more emotion expressed in the poem.
Good job
Dee*
29Kiss-and-DieIt's good, real good, but there could have been more emotion expressed in the poem.
Good job
Dee*