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for Stand Back, Daughter

8/1/2004 c5 35Infinity Plus One
Perhaps not a twist, but good haikus.
8/1/2004 c4 Infinity Plus One
I am thinking that the last chapter will be a twist? So far, so good. I am visualising a darkened room with a scared child.
8/1/2004 c3 Infinity Plus One
I can see more sinister things in this haiku.
8/1/2004 c2 Infinity Plus One
Hm why do I see something slightly sinister in this?
8/1/2004 c1 Infinity Plus One
Haiku story? So that is the reason for the few words. This is a bright beginning, calming in a way.
6/2/2004 c4 80Plato's Optic Runaway
This one is most definitely my favourite of the bunch; its elegance overthrows the rest in expertise, save perhaps the first. The antediluvian feel to this with hints at classicism are wonderful; it reminds me of a mother and daughter as you describe as intensely as the first poem in this collection.
6/2/2004 c2 Plato's Optic Runaway
It reminds me of my sister as a child; those plastic, superficial dolls with the flourescent pink cradle. Terribly reminiscent.
5/24/2004 c5 55DueTuesday
i severly love your haikus. doors and keychains is rockin'. Youve seriously inspired me to start writting my haikus. check them out i think i have two up there so far but im going to be adding more soon.
4/21/2004 c1 138Lina Inverse
I love the imagery... But just as a tiny little nitpick... it's spelled "artifact"
3/17/2004 c2 123breakdown in the waiting room
I used to have those diaries, too. One time, I had this little one my mother gave me- one of my cousins read it and then ripped it up.
She's a bitch.
It took me a few times re-reading this before I fully understood the message, but the more I read a piece, the more my appreciation for it grows.
3/17/2004 c1 breakdown in the waiting room
Hm. . .I don't quite get this one, though I love the whole idea of an autobiography in haiku. Like photographs. And the title - "Stand Back, Daughter" is fantastic.
3/17/2004 c3 breakdown in the waiting room
Oh! *shivers* Love the image and the title.
3/17/2004 c4 breakdown in the waiting room
The tone of the piece is so sad. . .when I was a kid I had those same books. And no bedtime stories.
3/17/2004 c5 breakdown in the waiting room
Sounds like my house.
The words all flow together perfectly for this frightening, heart-breaking image.
3/15/2004 c3 138Lina Inverse
I really like this one... It's so... deep... How do you carefully create something, then treat it like a slave? It's like if a parent gave birth to a child, and carefully raised her into a young woman, then restricted her into just doing chores/working for the family business.
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