for Troubles Through Time1/2/2006 c3 
1Lynet Nar
Well, that all sounds pleasant. Three questions and a sample. And lovely answers to those questions, too. Except for the one about the door being locked, they were rather cryptic and unilluminating. What a frustrating place the future must be! I do like the "elevator" they have there. That seems fun. I do wonder... the concrete steps were obviously meant to disguise the importance of the place, but why bother? I mean, in order for anyone to see those steps, they would have had to go through all that security at the door, so they would have known that it was at least semi-important. Anyway, good job.
1Lynet NarWell, that all sounds pleasant. Three questions and a sample. And lovely answers to those questions, too. Except for the one about the door being locked, they were rather cryptic and unilluminating. What a frustrating place the future must be! I do like the "elevator" they have there. That seems fun. I do wonder... the concrete steps were obviously meant to disguise the importance of the place, but why bother? I mean, in order for anyone to see those steps, they would have had to go through all that security at the door, so they would have known that it was at least semi-important. Anyway, good job.
1/2/2006 c2 Lynet Nar
Hmm... Kind of an interesting paradox...ish...thing. He goes to the future and finds a primitive jungle... with high technology and big weaponry. This was a great chapter. For some reason, I like Echo one. Only a few minor errors, and once you slipped into third person, but good writing, nonetheless.
~Levi-san, who really likes the word "nonetheless."
Hmm... Kind of an interesting paradox...ish...thing. He goes to the future and finds a primitive jungle... with high technology and big weaponry. This was a great chapter. For some reason, I like Echo one. Only a few minor errors, and once you slipped into third person, but good writing, nonetheless.
~Levi-san, who really likes the word "nonetheless."
1/2/2006 c1 Lynet Nar
Interesante. This is rather good for a prologue. Very interesting. I especially like the line "Today would be my 200th birthday had I still been alive." I'm not sure if "The secret of time" should be in a separate paragraph. I almost missed it; the space makes it seem like it's not really part of the prologue. But that's not too terribly important.
~Levi-san, who can't think of a clever add-on at the moment.
Interesante. This is rather good for a prologue. Very interesting. I especially like the line "Today would be my 200th birthday had I still been alive." I'm not sure if "The secret of time" should be in a separate paragraph. I almost missed it; the space makes it seem like it's not really part of the prologue. But that's not too terribly important.
~Levi-san, who can't think of a clever add-on at the moment.
3/5/2005 c2 Arkash
Great chapter, it certainly has a military flavor. Dean seems like a cool character. I like your setting and prose. What happened to the time machine? Did Dean just leave it there in the jungle?
Great chapter, it certainly has a military flavor. Dean seems like a cool character. I like your setting and prose. What happened to the time machine? Did Dean just leave it there in the jungle?
5/17/2004 c2 Penguin23
this story seems so cool! i love the concept the beginning goes really fast and we don't really get to know William before he goes through time it is really cool how u have the different cities as rivals bye
this story seems so cool! i love the concept the beginning goes really fast and we don't really get to know William before he goes through time it is really cool how u have the different cities as rivals bye
4/24/2004 c3 Iceunia
What are they gonna do with him? I think I'm gonna put this on my favorites list.
What are they gonna do with him? I think I'm gonna put this on my favorites list.
3/14/2004 c2 10DarkSorceress
This story is very interesting. I think I will be putting this one on my favourites stories list for further reading, which means that youve got to keep updating.
I like the way you portray character dialogue in a way that is believeable (something I am still yet to learn)and the way that you have developed your character.
Keep Writing.
-MidnightSorceress
10DarkSorceressThis story is very interesting. I think I will be putting this one on my favourites stories list for further reading, which means that youve got to keep updating.
I like the way you portray character dialogue in a way that is believeable (something I am still yet to learn)and the way that you have developed your character.
Keep Writing.
-MidnightSorceress
3/14/2004 c2 3Spencer W. Hensley
This looks like its going to be a very interesting, original story. I like it already, honestly. I would just suggest elaborating whenever you can, to make the story flow better.
I'll be reading this as it continues. Keep it up.
3Spencer W. HensleyThis looks like its going to be a very interesting, original story. I like it already, honestly. I would just suggest elaborating whenever you can, to make the story flow better.
I'll be reading this as it continues. Keep it up.
3/12/2004 c2 8Princess Tiara
That sounds like a great start to an awsome story! Please update it soon!
8Princess TiaraThat sounds like a great start to an awsome story! Please update it soon!