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12/22/2004 c1 9Kalopsia
want honesty? haha i loved the first two stanzas...they were BEAUTIFUL...but i was unimpressed by the last stanza...i know you can do a wee better!
3/20/2004 c1 30Three Cornered Hat
Yay you posted more! Good job, I know you said you wanted suggestions, but I'm not exactly the best poet to be giving advice. The second stanza's rhyming could prob. be a little better, but I like it anyway!
3/18/2004 c1 AlienVision
this was good. and sad. and touching. aw... write more! update ur other fic. soon. please. great poem!
3/17/2004 c1 29FrostedTeardrop
Wow, this poem was very good.
3/17/2004 c1 183writerforever
Hi. This is really good and sad. I know how the guy feels *sighs*. You write really well.
If it is not too much trouble could you review my story "The Miracle House"? It has gotten no reviews yet. Thanks.
3/17/2004 c1 27LaureLalaith
I like the story. the second stanza reads a little awkward, but other than that, i think its great.
3/17/2004 c1 10RunningWithKnives
You need more content. I feel like your missing someting. Add the time, the music, what about the music, the emotions. It's like water that needs to be put in a glass. A good idea thought I like it. Just try to put the reader in the seen with the boy. Make them feel like to boy. That's just what I have to say.
3/17/2004 c1 28frugale
The two first stanzas are fine, really! But the last one just ruins some of the poem's subtility, in my opinion ... Because you beganto use common words, such as "cut deeper", "knifes of love", "didn't care", "she never came".

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