12/6/2006 c4 23firestar267
I like swimming. Lol i like this too! It's really sweet please keep it up and update soon!
I like swimming. Lol i like this too! It's really sweet please keep it up and update soon!
6/13/2005 c1 10Ashley Tucker
I like this! I like the title to. It's catching and draws interst...at least...it did me...=D
I like this! I like the title to. It's catching and draws interst...at least...it did me...=D
6/13/2005 c4 Ashley Tucker
I combed my hair (gasp),LOL. heh. I laughed. Question from Ashley, the oh great one...ARE YOU GOING TO FINISH? Or do I have to make you? *smiles sweetly*
I combed my hair (gasp),LOL. heh. I laughed. Question from Ashley, the oh great one...ARE YOU GOING TO FINISH? Or do I have to make you? *smiles sweetly*
7/25/2004 c4 13lilGyMnAsTcHiC
wasn't that boring, I liked the author's note. It mentioned me! hehehe. But didn't like the dissin Church part . . .
wasn't that boring, I liked the author's note. It mentioned me! hehehe. But didn't like the dissin Church part . . .
7/17/2004 c2 lilGyMnAsTcHiC
Come on, man- ANOTHER CHAPTER PLEASE! lol rly though, I like this fic n I need you 2 write some more. By the way, I luv ur 3rd chapter title- all that jazz is such a cool song . . . ok u didnt need to no that but whatever! hehehe
Come on, man- ANOTHER CHAPTER PLEASE! lol rly though, I like this fic n I need you 2 write some more. By the way, I luv ur 3rd chapter title- all that jazz is such a cool song . . . ok u didnt need to no that but whatever! hehehe
4/16/2004 c3 lilGyMnAsTcHiC
hei! i like it, i no sum ppl probly think dat its the same old plot, bad meets good, ettc., but ur story has a "different" sort of class to it. keep goin man i luv it (o ya n ur pen name is funny- howd u eva com eup wit it ne way?)~~
hei! i like it, i no sum ppl probly think dat its the same old plot, bad meets good, ettc., but ur story has a "different" sort of class to it. keep goin man i luv it (o ya n ur pen name is funny- howd u eva com eup wit it ne way?)~~
3/24/2004 c2 84Escapist
And so the story brings in the summary...
Savannah's already getting on my nerves, and that's a good thing. If the characters give your reader a reaction they won't get bored.
The lacrosse thing made me smile.
And so the story brings in the summary...
Savannah's already getting on my nerves, and that's a good thing. If the characters give your reader a reaction they won't get bored.
The lacrosse thing made me smile.
3/22/2004 c1 Plastic Lighting
It's not that bad, actually. Yes, it's stereotypical, but I like the idea. Just a note: Don't force the love life. Let it develop over time. If you force it, it might fall apart. Good luck!
It's not that bad, actually. Yes, it's stereotypical, but I like the idea. Just a note: Don't force the love life. Let it develop over time. If you force it, it might fall apart. Good luck!
3/22/2004 c1 Escapist
As far as plot suggestions, I wouldn't have Savannah and Jay get together later. I hate predictable stories. Maybe take it along that path, but throw in a curve ball. Don't let Jay lose his edge. Do whatever you want with this story (not depending on reviews to dictate, even though I already put this on my Author Alert), but keep everyone in character. It's only the first chapter so I'm not too sure what "in character" would mean for them yet...
But I like how you wrote this. It actually sounds like the character is narrating it. I don't know how to explain it, I just like it.
As far as plot suggestions, I wouldn't have Savannah and Jay get together later. I hate predictable stories. Maybe take it along that path, but throw in a curve ball. Don't let Jay lose his edge. Do whatever you want with this story (not depending on reviews to dictate, even though I already put this on my Author Alert), but keep everyone in character. It's only the first chapter so I'm not too sure what "in character" would mean for them yet...
But I like how you wrote this. It actually sounds like the character is narrating it. I don't know how to explain it, I just like it.