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for Of the Past

3/25/2004 c1 8Sokkonn
Mary-Anne-
Well I'm digging it. I think the format works because it is more a recellection of your past rather than a real story... it's often difficult to develop this type of character.
However, you could elongate this, beef it up make it a full, all out story... have the first chapter take place in 8th grade... You know, that kind of thing.
By the way... how Oni's feeling is really completly understandable. But what happened happened, and there's nothing you can do to change that, sadly.
...sorry, going into therapist mode there.
Anyway, have fun!
-Timmy
PS- No, I'm not giving you back your calculator battery cover thing... it adds spice to our calculators! Makes them special!
... okay, maybe on the last day of school.
3/24/2004 c1 AnaJones
Seems like an outline, I'm no expert, but since you asked-it seems like you might want to give more depth to the characters, they are just sketches, need a portrait to make people want to read more. Is this just the idea for a story?- because if it is sounds interesting.

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