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1/19/2006 c2 10Arkham Krider
Corny as all hell. Sounds to me like it was Vic's fault that Bill died.
7/20/2004 c3 12LiKePiNk
Holy fuck... that was aboslutely gruesome... I loved it. LoL You must update I'm really into the story... makes me wish I could write half decent stuff... anyways I would review all your other stuff that I read but that would require me to be not be as lazy as I am so for now I'll just say I love your work, especially that "wasnt it just super duper" one that was really... awesome I can't think of any other word great job!
~LP~
6/22/2004 c3 26Endless Nightmares
Hello Morbid- Nicely done here. Nicely written. You know, you should buy the Bible Code book, you might find it interesting.
6/22/2004 c3 HappyBunny1
Once again, good job. I like this story very much and I really do urge you to continue! You could really do a lot with this story. You have a lot of freedom with it at this point, so I say have fun with it and keep writing! But that's just my opinion... :-)
Chrissy
6/17/2004 c2 Endless Nightmares
Hello Morbid- Someone needs to update thier stories heh. I got a few new horror pieces out, if you want to read them.
Anyway, I like how the chapter was built up. Hope Chapter 3 is just as good.
6/16/2004 c2 HappyBunny1
Now THAT was a great story! Personally, I think it pretty much whooped the ass of any horror stories I could ever come up with. So bravo. BRA-VO! Everything just fit together so nicely... Good job!
Chrissy
(HappyBunny1)
4/22/2004 c1 1JD Kennedy
Really cool, and a good description too, especially on Viktor's parents and sisters corpses...yuk! :)
Will there be more?
~ JD
4/11/2004 c1 25Nickolaus Pacione
This one is impressive. I liked how you did the supernatural tone ot this one. I found your story when I was looking about the writers that reviewed my work, so I thought I would give you a read. The only suggestion I have with this story is that you should make it a little longer; expand each paragraph and make it a little more descriptive. It does have a lot of power behind it.
3/27/2004 c1 26Endless Nightmares
Hello Morbid-
Nicely done so far. Gorefest is a must.
3/26/2004 c1 12the matrix has me
Man, this was awesome cousin!
3/25/2004 c1 12LiKePiNk
Pretty good story... you've got a good plot but there's just some things that could be worked on... *you dont have to take my advice but i'm gonna give it anyways ^_~*
the paragraph about Victor dropping out of high school and stuff takes away from the story completely, it's sorta irrelevant and doesn't really make sense considering the story is about monsters... all you really need to know is the "Viktor now entered the house he had been living in for nineteen years" part. Also you use the same words a little too much... Try starting some paragraphs with something other then "Viktor" and maybe use some synonoms for creature or something... and avoid "telling" the reader... "show" them what's happening instead.
ok well that was really long... LoL i really liked the last paragraph that was cool... anyways LoL keep it up i really like this story!

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