for Black and White4/22/2006 c1 
8supplanter-of-tomorrow
0_0 I am delightedly intrigued? Anyways, it's a tangible feeling, reading this, A good one, too.
8supplanter-of-tomorrow0_0 I am delightedly intrigued? Anyways, it's a tangible feeling, reading this, A good one, too.
3/11/2005 c1 Cz
Intriguing. I liked it. Was there any personal meaning behind it? Either way, I found it very interesting. It reminded me of the stories we read and interpret in English.
Intriguing. I liked it. Was there any personal meaning behind it? Either way, I found it very interesting. It reminded me of the stories we read and interpret in English.
8/1/2004 c1 Lee-huh
You know I've always liked this story, from the first time I read it. It's just the cliff part that confuses me - it mentions a "curve" and this (in a world of rigid lines) should signify something of great importance, but it doesn't ...? Also, the character appears to be human (he/she sleeps, wears shoes, etc), but this isn't particularly made clear. Perhaps a greater contrast shown between human characteristics and this stark world of black and white can strengthen the confusion/mystery of it all?
You know I've always liked this story, from the first time I read it. It's just the cliff part that confuses me - it mentions a "curve" and this (in a world of rigid lines) should signify something of great importance, but it doesn't ...? Also, the character appears to be human (he/she sleeps, wears shoes, etc), but this isn't particularly made clear. Perhaps a greater contrast shown between human characteristics and this stark world of black and white can strengthen the confusion/mystery of it all?
7/11/2004 c1 5A.R.B
That was quite interesting, dreamlike and alien. Since the piece is mostly a descriptive piece, I think you could've done a whole lot more with your descriptions. Someone mentioned sound - I agree that some note about the sound (even if there was none) would have been just what was needed. Also, the rather precise descriptions of mesurement: "cubic meter", "one meter by one meter", "upwards about 30 degrees" sort of jarred me out of the piece. Still very mood-invoking and cool. Kinda makes me think of limbo. Nice work.
5A.R.BThat was quite interesting, dreamlike and alien. Since the piece is mostly a descriptive piece, I think you could've done a whole lot more with your descriptions. Someone mentioned sound - I agree that some note about the sound (even if there was none) would have been just what was needed. Also, the rather precise descriptions of mesurement: "cubic meter", "one meter by one meter", "upwards about 30 degrees" sort of jarred me out of the piece. Still very mood-invoking and cool. Kinda makes me think of limbo. Nice work.
5/20/2004 c2 19Cardinal Chuck
Alright...it took me a while to realize that there was a second chapter...but there is, and I've read it, and I still have no idea what happened. I have a rough idea but what was it an image of? What is this cursed light? I think I am daft actually! Once again, I liked the way it was written and I'm sort of indifferent to the add or not factor...I sort of liked Black and White by itself but I also liked this part put after it...I don't know...but I do know that you can write, unlike some of the people I've come across on this site. Yep...thank you.
19Cardinal ChuckAlright...it took me a while to realize that there was a second chapter...but there is, and I've read it, and I still have no idea what happened. I have a rough idea but what was it an image of? What is this cursed light? I think I am daft actually! Once again, I liked the way it was written and I'm sort of indifferent to the add or not factor...I sort of liked Black and White by itself but I also liked this part put after it...I don't know...but I do know that you can write, unlike some of the people I've come across on this site. Yep...thank you.
5/20/2004 c1 Cardinal Chuck
I really don't know what to think of this. I like the way it was written...but what the hell happened? Perhaps I'm just daft? I don't know but I did like the style and the tone. However, I imagined this world as very echoey but you never mention that. Especially in the sphere things should echo if it's that empty. Foot steps would sound like a jet taking off in the distance or something. Mentioning that might get across the, hey...this place is really empty, feel more than you have. But I still liked it. Good work.
I really don't know what to think of this. I like the way it was written...but what the hell happened? Perhaps I'm just daft? I don't know but I did like the style and the tone. However, I imagined this world as very echoey but you never mention that. Especially in the sphere things should echo if it's that empty. Foot steps would sound like a jet taking off in the distance or something. Mentioning that might get across the, hey...this place is really empty, feel more than you have. But I still liked it. Good work.
4/21/2004 c1 2Billthegeek
I didn't really get the part about the cliff-thing and the vertical line and the horizontal ine (I probably wasn't reading closely). Well, it is like the word "Desolation".
2BillthegeekI didn't really get the part about the cliff-thing and the vertical line and the horizontal ine (I probably wasn't reading closely). Well, it is like the word "Desolation".
3/27/2004 c1 26Endless Nightmares
Hello-
I liked this. Wow, your an oldie just like me. My original name was Ice Demon, which is still on this site. But I became a writer in 2001. So your older than me.
ANyway, keep writing, I want to read more.
26Endless NightmaresHello-
I liked this. Wow, your an oldie just like me. My original name was Ice Demon, which is still on this site. But I became a writer in 2001. So your older than me.
ANyway, keep writing, I want to read more.
3/27/2004 c1 2Jon Pharos
I liked it. Um...it was well-written, but I didn't really get the passage of time. Of course, that could be what you were aiming for, which is kind of how I'm looking at it. I do think that you could have left out any mention of "home". To me, the story would make you think harder; such as "Where did this start?" and "Where is the person trying to go?" I think I'm putting you on my Author Alert list...I want to read more of your writing...oh, yeah, this was my first review, even though I normally read stuff. I just registered recently.
2Jon PharosI liked it. Um...it was well-written, but I didn't really get the passage of time. Of course, that could be what you were aiming for, which is kind of how I'm looking at it. I do think that you could have left out any mention of "home". To me, the story would make you think harder; such as "Where did this start?" and "Where is the person trying to go?" I think I'm putting you on my Author Alert list...I want to read more of your writing...oh, yeah, this was my first review, even though I normally read stuff. I just registered recently.
3/26/2004 c1 2Immortal Sinna
Well, very cool! I liked it, I really did, it made me think... Which I don't do much! Nice job dude (really) :)
2Immortal SinnaWell, very cool! I liked it, I really did, it made me think... Which I don't do much! Nice job dude (really) :)