4/9/2004 c1 Sourpops
I think you should have DEFINITELY have stated the time and era of the story. I was guessing for awhile, until you talked about corsets.
And perhaps more formal language.
Because of your informal language, it's kinda hard to know whether you're talking about modern times, or medieval.
But otherwise..it's OK. Not TOO good, but not TOO bad.
COuld do with some improvement, especially changing the format of language...
~Sourpops~